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Review:momotwins says:
These names are hilarious. I'm cracking up. Parents sometimes do the weirdest things to their kids. We knew a family back home in Hawaii whose last name was Park and named their kids for all the state parks on our island. People would just snicker at them when they said their names. Hippie parents of the 70s for the win.

Anyway, I feel bad for this mom - she's so nice to them when they're being such brats! I like their wallpaper patched wall, I would have loved that as a teenager. Their grandmother has a heck of a name. Unusually long. Well, not unusual for fanfic ;)

Flamingo neck sounds like a spell that'd see a lot of use at school XD I can just see the Weasleys hexing each other left and right with that one.

So overall: Your grammar and spelling are lovely, which is hugely wonderful and a relief for this poor validator; the story flows nicely once it settles down into the narrative; and the OCs are appealing. Well, after the initial scene, in which they are not appealing at all ;) I liked them better after that. The screaming at each other in the beginning seems a little at odds with their behavior the rest of the chapter, and it's a bit jarring as a beginning actually, almost as if you hadn't entirely settled on a personality for the girls yet or a tone for the story. I like that they're Ravenclaws (well, I am Head of House after all), especially since so often everyone in Next Gen seems to be a Gryffindor or occasionally a Slytherin. Nice to see some Claw love!

Author's Response: This being fanfiction, I gave myself the freedom of giving my characters crazy names, but in real life, parents should not be allowed to name their children after parks. I'm torn between laughter or horror/pity with your anecdote!

The grandmother's names, embarassingly enough, are literally copy pasted off someone in my family, minus the first name. Our naming traditions are almost as bad as this family's, I'm afraid...

The initial scene was a bit of a spur of the moment piece of writing, but I'm far from pleased with it. However, as of today I'm a bit clueless on how to change it, though I'll definitely keep in mind that it needs some serious editing!

Ravenclaw wasn't even a question, being one myself. It's also my shout-out against Gryffindor Mary-Sues.

Thank you so much for the review!


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