Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Secret Santa says:
YAY! Bookish characters! I really love bookish characters because they remind me of me. I hope you'll be getting good books for Christmas!

Anyway. I think that, despite its size, this is quite a lovely start for the chapter. You allow us but a tiny glimpse into what it's like to be in the narrator's head/life, you let us know a few basic things about her, and you introduced a prospective love interest. The thing about all of those things you've introduced is that you didn't give much explanation about them which allows questions to arise. I'm sitting here wondering what is it that scares Lydia of commitment? And what was James doing in that library (and with a laptop) that day?

Another thing I'm feeling right now is that I want to give Lydia a bit of advice. I would say: "Lydia, it takes a lot of commitment to finish a book, to stay faithful to its characters until it ends. So you practice commitment without even realising it. You just need to find a person who deserves commitment as much as a good book does."

Or something of that sort anyway.

I also really like James. I think that he was flirting (I'm not entirely sure as I don't really know him yet), and yet he seemed to be a gentleman. The interaction between him and Lydia felt very natural and I was happy to not see hearts and butterflies flutter into the air!

There are a few typos --some dialogue tags and misspelled words, but otherwise everything seems fine.

I also really liked how you sealed the chapter.

All in all, well done! I happened to be in the mood for fluff, and I'm really liking this so far. I can't wait to see what comes next!

Clue: I've already told you. I really, really like books.

Author's Response: Thank you so very much! :) Your reviews totally brighten my day! Gosh, I really don't know who you are now... I'll have to do some investigating :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net