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Review:academica says:
Hi! This is review four of ten!

I don't think I've mentioned this, but I really like how you shift from the main plotline with Amelia to this side plot involving Albus and Mariah. I've done that with some of my stories and I think it's fun, and it spices things up for readers.

Speaking of Albus, this--

He would have gone out in his underwear but he didn't want people jealous of his body.

--made me laugh out loud. He's almost the most awkward next-gener I've ever seen, except maybe for Toujours_Padfoot's Scorpius in Le Scorp! I also like that he's the Quidditch player in the family; as I said before, it's usually James, and I like how you've changed things up here.

I do kind of feel bad for Albus, though. It seems like Mariah usually gets the better end of the deal in their little torture exchanges. I kind of hope his brother and friends will eventually back him up, but I sense that maybe that's too much to ask for. I do think it will be hard for me to accept the idea of them becoming a couple, as it seems you might be hinting at, if they're this cruel to each other. To add to this, I would suggest putting in some extra character dimension, to show the other sides of each of them and give us some idea as to what common ground they have between them.

I am wondering what will happen when the professors figure out that the detentions weren't done correctly. You might introduce that next, though, so hopefully I'll find out soon. Oh, and same thing as before with the technical stuff.

Okay, this is all I have time for right now. I'll be back to finish out the other six reviews for you :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: Hiya!!! :D

Aww yay, thank you, I was worried that it would get annoying me doing that. I like it as your not always stuck reading the same two people throughout the whole story.

Haha I'm glad that made you laugh, in the unedited version of the chapter he does go outside like that, but I changed it to him borrowing some clothes.
Oh I love Le Scorp! Scorpius in that is just hilarious!

Oh Albus, he tries to give as good as he gets, I'm not sure if it's soon but there is a point where Albus pushes Mariah into a plant during Herbology, which tries to eat her. So he's got maybe one upper hand?
Oh his family won't help him, they love seeing him being tortured like that haha. I will definately add some character dimension to them, :D They do eventually calm down with their cruelty to each other, and start to realise some feelings.

I don't know if I've even written what happened? I can't remember, I really hope I did :S

Thank you so much hun!! I am loving these so much! :D


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