|Review:||A Very Secret Santa says:|
Ho! Ho! Ho! Well hello there - Santa here to give your stories some nice Gryffindor love! I'm so excited - not only do I have an excuse to spend hours fawning over your work, but it also means I get to write really long reviews and not feel bad about spending forever on them because I do love writing good reviews. :P
For this, I figured since all of your stories looked fabulous, I would just work my way down by how recent the stories were so you'd get reviews on things that felt the most relevant? If you do decide you'd like reviews on particular things, just let me know in a reply whenever you'd like to send me on over to a different story. :)
Okay, LAST thing not about the actual chapter and then I'll get on with things! YOUR BANNER. IT IS AMAZING. I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO CAN. *dies* (Also, I review as I read and then go back and sum everything up and mostly fangirl, if you were wondering. :D)
Oh Hermione, you well written and highly accurate to how you would behave in the legal world you! It is so terrible to think about how muggleborns and their families have to straddle two worlds without ever being able to fully live in either. And to think about families who would have had to live like the Creevey's - an excellent point Mrs. Granger!
And those protective spells! But why is she running? The suspense has got me clinging to the sides of my poor laptop right now! All the little clues and her mind still moving three times the speed of everyone else - gah! Your Hermione is perfect!
I was a little confused about the newspaper? So there was a box that contained another box, and the smaller box was wrapped with the Belfast Telegram? And in the smaller box was the copy of The Standard Book of Spells which had a purple ribbon sticking between one of the pages. And then... (this is where I got all confused, so pardon me if I'm just being silly and completely messed this up!) when you open the book to the page with the ribbon, you find a copy of yesterday's Prophet? It took a few rereadings, but I think I got it? Either way, that little bit of description could be helped with a little clearing up, unless it was meant to keep the reader in suspense. :)
Oh and a Greyback! I do love werewolves - such a horrible fate and they always make the best stories because they're so twisted. Eeep! It's hard to poorly show a werewolf's character, but with someone brilliantly brilliant like you? I'm just bursting with excitement! :D
And how right I was! Even though most of the first part of the parole hearing was Hermione fuming, you showed Fenrir's character BEAUTIFULLY! *shivers* I sure wouldn't want to have to be Hermione - facing her own laws and yet having Fenrir potentially running around free again. I'm interested to hear more about that package and her plans, however.
I don't... I don't know how I feel about this, though. On one hand, Hermione is so very right in her descriptions of all that Greyback has done and I would be terrified to know that he was out on the streets. But... on the other hand, being the half-Hufflepuff (the Gryffindor half is more equal than the Hufflepuff half, though :P) I... I don't know how I feel about taking the law personally and being so divided on the case of werewolves.
I don't know - I know I shudder at the thought of Greyback and I'm rooting for Hermione, but at the same time, Albus' words really ring in my head because it does feel... off. But that's what good writing does. It makes you think!
So, now going back and summing it all up! I love stories rooted in the legal system! They always fascinate me and Hermione as a character is presented so well in this!
I am very curious about what happens next, so I'll definitely be going on to see how this story ends! After this, though, you can poke me on to whatever story you fancy! :)
I really want to know about that package though! The trial and her riff at the beginning was very good, but they had a few of their ends mildly tied up. And then the package is just "whee! keeping you in suspense - just look at me being really well written and luring you toward the next chapter!" Exactly like that.
I would clear that description of it up, however. If I picked everything out correctly, I only started to get confused where the Prophet came in, so the rest of the description should be fine as long as you add a bit to where the Prophet comes from in relation to the book.
That's really all the concrit I can think of, and it's hardly much! The whole story flows very well and everyone is characterized so well. The descriptions are beautiful and I just can't wait for the next chapter!
Hopefully you were able to sit through this whole thing, despite it not being very helpful! Oh! And if you need for me to elaborate on certain aspects of the story for future chapters, feel free to put things in the replies (or if you want, I think you can go through your coordinator too, so whichever is easier for you, if you have specifics?) Or I can just go on my merry way and fangirl through your recent stories! Either way is fine with me!
I'm very excited to get to be your Secret Santa (and at this point I am really close to using all 600 characters, so I'm just going to ramble - you can skip this bit if you like, since I'm afraid it will just be me fangirling even more! :P) and I hope you are having a lovely holiday season!
This whole story is so fabulous - I was intrigued from the quote in the summary, and I'm interested to see how it lives up to it! The evil flourishing and the good men - how will that play into Fenrir's parole decision and that package that I keep coming back to! Eeep!
The bit at the beginning about the statue of secrecy also made me think a lot - I don't know if it was there primarily to establish Hermione as a lawyer, or if it will play into Hermione's later actions in the court, but I liked it! :)
From your super secret super Gryffie-ey Santa!
Author's Response: Wow! Such an ebullient Secret Santa! I can feel the excitement radiating off the page.
I'm really glad you liked the banner. It was made by the wonderful Elenia from HPFF/TDA. I think she did an incredible job with it!
OK, so to *try* to clear up the newspaper... There are actually two newspapers. One (the Belfast Telegram) was used to wrap the outside of the package. The other (the Daily Prophet) was inside the box. The one inside the box was where Hermione read that Greyback was being considered for parole. And the spellbook with the ribbon in it... well, you'll see... ;)
Hermione is the only one who feels the degree of certainty about Greyback. Albus is obviously conflicted. He knows about his aunt's work improving the lives of werewolves and he can't understand why she's so reluctant to want to give Greyback a second chance. The conflict is part and parcel to the story.
I thought your review was really good. I'd enjoy reading more like it. I get the most value out of knowing how readers react to different parts of the story; what things they really like and what things they don't like so much. It gives me an idea where I could make changes or how I could write things differently in the future. More than anything, I just like the conversational feel of the process.
Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and reactions! Looking forward to more!