Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Roots in Water says:
Hey! I'm (finally) here to return the favour for your fabulous review! Let's see what's happened in the world of the Marauders... The chapter summary sounded very ominous.

Wow. I love how you're balancing several different issues in this story: their personal problems, their friendship and the developping war- and intertwining them so smoothly amongst each other. The light-hearted moments transition well into the darker moments... providing a necessary balance in the story.

The darker moments of this chapter were very well done. The event in and of itself was very serious and reflected the times very well. And then the way you made it relevant to the story... I must admit, I didn't read the revelation scene with bated breath (oops)- I read it trying to figure out how the children and the living Bones' family fit into my knowledge of the Bones family during Harry's era. My conclusion? That neither of the twin girls is Susan Bones.

However, I was paying enough attention to the flow of the scene to know that you did a great job with your description of it. Everything was crystal clear and Lily's reactions to the news were definitely in character. It was interesting to see her realize that this was the first time the war had really touched them from behind the walls of Hogwarts... And it'll be even more interesting to see how the rest of the school reacts to the news. I imagine the sides will become even clearer after the revealing.

I really liked how the creation/revealing of the Patronus messages came about. The Marauders were so clever that it's perfectly believable that they would come up with an idea like this and make it work. The small changes you made to the spell to make it less "evolved" and certainly less efficient were a very nice touch. I definitely agree with you that magic would evolve over the years (no matter how small/limited that change might be).

Then, I really liked the quick and somewhat easy forgiveness between Sirius and James. It makes sense that if given a little time to cool down and put the situation in perspective, James would lose his anger towards Sirius. And at least now everyone knows who the favourite son is. (Great line, by the way!)

The following scene with Bellatrix was very good. I think that you did a great job of showing how she's already teetering on the edge of mental insanity and how she's already obsessed with the Dark Lord.

I have just one critique about the section: to begin, I noticed a typo. With the phrase "her stockings occasional" it should be "occasionally". However, I do think that that sentence sounds a little odd coming from Bellatrix. It doesn't sound like the sort of observation that she would make/I can't really picture Bellatrix wearing stockings. It sounds a little too feminine and sweet for her.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter and I look forward to reading more! Thanks for the great review and great work! :D

Author's Response: Hi darling! Sorry this has taken so long to respond to. I'm out of town visiting family and yeah, things are a bit on the crazy side.

I'm so happy that you think the dark and light parts are balancing out well. It's really important to be me to show that, no matter how young they are, things aren't the way they should be. Things aren't easy and carefree like they should be for these seventeen year old students, but that doesn't mean that they are always just upset/scared.

I had so much fun with the Patronus scene! I'm sure someone will come along and tell me that it doesn't make sense and blah blah, but I don't even care because I loved so much the idea that the marauders left such a huge thing. They used their sneaky powers for good :P.

The Bones family!

Edger, Amelia and Esther are the three siblings. Esther is the mother of Susan (in my head, her mother isn't ever actually named :P) and she's a few years older than the group. Amelia, Susan's aunt, is currently a 6th year, and Edger is the oldest. He's married to a muggle woman and has the twin girls, and according to Lexicon they don't have a very happy future :(.

Ahh crazy Bellatrix is so much fun to write. She just is so dominant that she just kind of writes herself and ugh. Love it. Hahah.

Thank you so much again for the amazing review. ♥


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 970
Submit Report: