OKAY. I just went read the first chapter and realized it felt incredibly familiar, then I realized I read it when I very first started on the archives. And left a God awful review, sorry about that ♥ AND I have no idea what I was talking about in previously said god awful review with the timeline. I used to think Sirius and Regulus were two school years apart, until.. you know, I actually started researching things, so that must be it. ANYWAY PLEASE FORGIVE what a terrible reviewer I was seven months ago :P
Back to this chapter! The mention of Halloween being Lily's favorite Holidays was bittersweet for me. I love that not only is it her favorite, but you went on to explain how much she used to love dressing up as a different kind of witch than most. But then it's painful, because at this point she has no idea Halloween will be the day she dies. Pretty sure you did that on purpose, you sneaky author. Really though, it was an amazing way to start this second chapter with a bag. Regarding your AN (which you probably put ages ago, and aren't really looking for feedback on anymore) but I didn't think anything seemed off with the dialogue in this chapter. Tags were there when necessary, but you were careful not to saturate the chapter with them.
I really like the names of your OC names! Obviously I don't know enough about them yet to comment on if I actually like *them* but considering this is your story, I'm positive I will. And you've chosen unique names that feel like they fit well without going over the top.
The scene with Severus and Lily.. I loved how Lily did a bit of internal lecturing for being rude, but she didn't really stop. This is something small, but I like the irony of her having a relatively friendly conversation with James Potter (and one of the first, from what her friends say) on the same day that she has a very uncomfortable conversation with Sev- someone who she's spent years being a best friend to.
I have a massive soft spot for back to school on the Express chapters. I don't think there's any better way to start a story, and I always feel a bit deprived if I'm reading one that involves Hogwarts and we never see them on the train :P
It's so much fun seeing how different your style is in this as opposed to Diamonds into Coal. It's so impressive that you can make such different styles both work so perfectly for you.
Awesome second chapter ♥. I've been wanting to start this for so long...and know that I really feel like my characters are chiseled into my head, I think I finally can :P
Author's Response: Hey, no problem! I barely even remember it :)
I actually didn't even think about the date of Lily's death when writing that section--it was more about the contrast between being a dress-up witch and finding out you're a real one. What a bittersweet little detail to notice!
I'm glad you liked the names. I tried to pick names I could live with for a gazillion chapters and to make them something besides the usual. I'm still pleased with them 11 chapters in.
Man, your attention to detail is impressive! I felt a little awful for being so cruel to Severus in this chapter, especially after Lily had that almost civil conversation with James. However, in writing this story I set out to challenge myself to write the worst parts of Severus, to really toy with the most despicable flaws in his character. He'll be creepy, paranoid, cruel, cold--and yet some readers still feel sympathy for him. I have to say, I'm proud of what I've done with him!
It means a lot, what you said about me being able to juggle different styles. I've always felt like that was an important milestone in my development as a writer. Thanks so much for this wonderful review, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! Hope to hear from you again on it soon! By the way, I am working on updates for both of my novels :)