Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hi, here's the review you requested...

Ok, first off I just wanted to say well done for the dark atmosphere you really built up in this chapter... you did it really well. From her parents being very strict and quite cruel with their old-fashioned views, wanting to marry her off etc and then to the Malfoys where it got no better. I liked the comparison that the whole thing is like romances she reads in muggle stories as I've always thought that too!

I loved Scorpius! He was definitely my favourite character in this. Very cleverly named too as we know this is the name of Draco and Astoria's boy and I loved the thought that he's named after his uncle who is mum obviously looks up too. The one thing I worry about is the fact he is going to annoy his mum and dad off a lot and I hope that doesn't end badly for him! I'm becoming slightly attached!

You've really got me curious as to what this secret is. The fact that she's half blood obviously means we have a big story to come out and you've really ignited my curiousity with your subtle hints.

Ooh the game. It's rather sinister, especially playing with people you don't like. Astoria seems to have gotten herself in over her head so I'm really interested in where you're going to take the story next!

A couple of sentences I didn't think quite made sense...

'But if only her mother hadnít insisted on her corset being so unbearably tight, she seemed to think that if she passed out over supper that she would land a mate.' I don't think you need the 'But'. The but gives the impression you are going to say something else but don't.

The other is 'My son Draco has never mentioned you very often.' The never and 'very often' contradict each other. Either he's mentioned her a few times, or not at all if you see what I mean.

All in all though I thought this was a great start to your story and it certainly had me wanting to read more. I have a few other stories to review but if you wanted to re-request another chapter I would be more than happy to read more!

Oh... I was also dying to know what Pansy's unladylike comment was but I'm guessing that won't be revealed?

Well done again!
Lauren

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, thanks so much for coming to this for me, it means alot! *hands fat kitten* I hadn't thought this story was very popular at all so I wasn't expecting many reviews for it at all.
Yep, I wanted to point out that this story was no fluffy romance in the first few scenes and I'm glad that I was able to do that well. Astoria's family are very old fashioned for their own reasons, which come up later on and not in the way you might think.
Oooh, a Scorpy fan are you? Please forgive the way I have his name written by the way. I honestly think it looks better than "Scorpius" but that's just me.
He may be a bit more tied to the family than you think but that's for you to find out later. Hehehehe.
This, by the way is a SORT OF Draco/Astoria so it might not fall ino canon. Just as a warning. >:D
I hope you enjoy figuring out the Greegrass Family Secret, as one of my reviewers dubbed it. Its not at all pleasant. Hahaaha. But it become clearer and clearer as we go on and I hope you stick around.
Ah, the game. I made it up right on the spot and I've been stunned by the responses! Really, people? Hahaha. It was meant to be sinister and unpleasant, especially for Astoria, who just doesnt want to stand out. She'll regret it. :p
As for her being half-blood, it does play a great role for this story. You'll just have to wait and see. Hehehehe. >:D
I know those sentences! I was meaning to change them but hadn't gotten around to it! But thanks for pointing them out to me! :D
Let me say this though, Draco mentions Astoria more than once at home. His mum just won't admit it. Hahaha.
Oh, sure, if you want to read more, I'm more than happy to re-request! This was a lovely review and I'm happy that you enjoyed the story! :D
You might not want to know what Pansy had said because its actually pretty disgusting. And yet, just wait until you read some of Draco's lines...he gives "creepy" a whole new meaning. Hahahh.
Thanks again for coming!
Much love,
Gabbie


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 441
Submit Report: