Hey, I'm here to return our swap. :) Sorry it's taken me so long - the end of semester crunch consumed my life. Sigh.
Anyway, I liked this a lot. It's an intriguing start to the story - you're telling us from the start that Morgan isn't going to turn out to be a hero, but at the same time, I did feel like you were successful in humanising her from the start. Having her meet Draco Malfoy was a great choice in that regard - we're all so used to thinking of Draco as a villain, I think, that a lot of people will be drawn to her just because she blew him off.
Bringing Theodore Nott into it is also an interesting choice. I personally find Nott to be really interesting, because we know so little about him and his past. I guess that's true for most of the characters who aren't Gryffindors in Harry's year, but there was something about Nott's characterisation in the books that drew me in, and I think that there are a lot of interesting things you could do with him, especially in the context of a to-be villain who was sorting into Gryffindor.
I also like the fact that you made her a Gryffindor, and I'd be interested to see how you pull off the Gryffindor/villain angle. I don't think that enough people really try to portray villains from Houses that aren't Slytherin, and there are a lot of possibilities there, especially if Morgan is acquainted with Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys (which I'm assuming she will be, to some extent).
My only real issue with this chapter was something you acknowledged in your A/N, so it could just be a matter of taste. I did feel like the narrator was laying it on a bit thick throughout the chapter, and in a way that felt a little too dramatic and confusing.
For example: I like intrigue, and the italics at the beginning worked really well for me in general. I think that you did a great job of setting the story up with them and drawing me in.
However, the last paragraph of the italics - starting Just know that I have no regret - didn't really made sense to me, and not in a good way. It shifted the focus back onto the narrator when you hadn't even introduced Morgan yet, which split the focus of the chapter a bit and stopped the chapter from feeling quite as linear and cohesive as it would have, otherwise.
Other than a few issues with that, though, this was a great chapter, and I really enjoyed it. :)
Author's Response: Hey :D
Thank you for the wonderful comments. I am glad you like some of my decisions, such as placing Morgan in Gryffindor and involving TheodoreNott.
I also found Theodore intriguing in the books and have been thinking of exploring his character for a while now :). To me, he always seemed to be like Malfoy, equal to him in predjudice and self-entitlement, but lacking the frustration and insecurity that I always found made Malfoy, although relatable, more annoying and pathetic. This made me imagine Nott as intelligent and introverted. He is not one to care about the well-being of others and he is not a hero, but I suspect he has a very rich inner world that is fun to explore. I hope I will be able to do his character some justice later on in this novel ^^
I agree with you that the narrator overdoes the *OoOooOOoo so dramatic* tone at times. I've been thinking about what to do there.Thank you for the specific example you brought, I think that will help me find the right tone by drawing attention away from the narrator. When I wrote that first bit, I hadn't really thought out much of the story (terrible tactic, but I'm the "ah it'll come to me as I write" type, super lazy *sigh*). At first, I actually thought the narrator would have more of a role than she does now, maybe would even turn out to be one of the characters. Opinions have chnaged since then but I never did go back and fix the text accordingly. I will do it and thank you for pointing it out :D
This swap thing is fun :3 Well,thank you again for the helpful review! Cheers!