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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
I'm here from the review tag, but I recognize your name from a review you left me not long ago. It's great to have an opportunity to read your story in return. I wouldn't have guessed this was your first fanfiction! Your style is nice to read - it flows well and I also like your word choice. There are a couple of misplaced or missing commas, but those are easily fixed, and a quick read-through of this chapter is all that's needed. (For example, in the fourth-to-last paragraph, you have "again, like, Sirius searching" when it should be "again, like Sirius, searching" - it's a little thing, but it changes where the reader pauses while reading.)

What stood out to me was the way that you show the scene between Lily and Petunia of DH from the perspective of your OC. Thalia (who does have a very cool name - it stands out, but it's still well-suited to the Potterverse) finds that connection with Lily in a way that I often don't see in Marauder fanfiction: it's not so much that they're both lonely, but that they're somehow neglected. Not enough writers place this kind of emphasis on Lily's relationship with Petunia and the effect it would have on Lily, so that's why I'm excited to see it here.

It'll be interesting to see where you take this story next! Since this is such a short chapter, I'll do the next one too. I've enjoyed this little taste of your story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yeah, I'll fix the comma issues when the queue reopens :) I'm glad you liked my story and I have to stay I've loved all the stories you've written :D

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