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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi!! I'm finally giving you the review you requested a few days ago!!

This was a pretty excellent beginning, in my opinion. Your language is spectacular, and the phrases are very flowy and cohesive. Narcissa's pain is evident, and it's very sad that she can't have what she wants most.

The only thing that I would say needs some improvement is the last bit, where she's going to Bellatrix's house. The sentences get kind of awkward there, but they just need some minor adjustment to fit in beautifully with the rest of the chapter.

Excellent work!! I'm curious to see what happens next, so I'm going to read and review the next chapter immediately. (Sh... This is our secret.) :)



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