Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Your Secret Santa says:
Hi Firefly910!

This is such a short but moving story! For the first time in ages you have made me feel actual sympathy for Severus and what he went through. You really made him come to life and you wrote his emotions so well!!! Seriously, keep writing angst you are so good at it!

The first and the last line in a story are two of the most important elements to get right. In fact if your first line is not interesting enough, you can lose readers almost instantly and if your last line is dull the same will occur (mostly if you have more than one chapter). However your first sentence: "Pain consumed him." in fact your whole first chapter was so good it sucked me in instantly and before I knew it I was reading your moving last line: "For Lily" he said. “Always” Congratulations on this, I love authors who can really grab the reader’s attention from the start till the finish and you have certainly done this in this story so WELL DONE!

Just one thing, you wrote: "...their son every day and not let what had happened at his doing crush him? He didn’t look like Lily. He looked like him..." Ok so being completely honest, this left me a little bit confused. I assume that the boy Snape is talking about is Harry, so did you make out in this story that Harry was Snape's son, not James'??? Anyway I think that you could have explained this a little more maybe in an author's note.

Overall though, this was an amazing read so thank you for writing such an interesting one-shot!


Your Secret Santa

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 934
Submit Report: