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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! Hope you don't mind another swap!

I'm so impressed by your ability to use their language, it is a hard thing to master which is why I never write this era, i'd be absolutely terrible at it. But you make it seem easy and it isn't cumbersome either as i've seen some authors try so hard but the narrative is littered with thou's and thee's that it seems to take away from the story. However, you've really done it well here.

I like the general air of this chapter. The way they hold themselves, how his mother, Salazaar, and he have this regal air that they are noble and they act it rather then you just telling us that they are royal. You can get a feeling that they feel higher and more superior and i think this may have a nice backdrop for future chapters.

I'm really interested to see his reasonings to why he hasn't gotten married or why he's so against it because i'm sure all the baroness or countesses that he's seen have been nice looking so it seems a little strange that he barely puts up a fight to see Helena when we see before he doesn't seem at all interested in marriage. This makes me question him. He probably expects the most beautiful things or best things (coveting his uncle's necklace) or all the jewels he has, and so when it comes to woman he also expects the same sort of thing. It makes me dislike him a little and feel less sorry about his previous state. But i'm probably looking into things too much.

Really lovely second chapter Amanda!

Author's Response: Hi Zayne! I'm sorry this response took ages!

The dialogue for this story has been interesting to figure out. I didn't want to go in too formal a direction with the thees and thous, like you mentioned, but I didn't want things to sound too casual, either. I'm glad the happy medium I chose worked for you!

I'm also pleased that you liked how I tried to show (as opposed to telling about) the Selwyns' regal nature. They are pretty stuck on themselves, in true Slytherin form, and I'm sure Venn learned from an early age that he was more important than those around him.

I've been trying to portray Venn as being pretty capricious throughout the story; he's supposed to come across as shallow and impulsive, as well as quite self-interested. He wants to rule, but he doesn't want to have to deal with the other parts of being an adult. You're not looking into things too much at all, though; he does sort of expect to receive the best things in life without any real effort on his part. I'm going to continue to try to make Venn's intentions clearer in future chapters, so I'd love to get more of your feedback there.

Thanks so much for your lovely review :)


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