Perelandra here with your review! So sorry it has taken a while...life. However, better late than never, right! :D
The first thing I enjoyed seeing was the length of the chapter. I'm coming across a lot of 1.5K word chapters and I wonder how they can move a story forward with so little to say. The narrative had a wonderful flow to it to where it didn't feel like it was over 5K words. I wasn't scrolling and skimming the chapter just to get it done and over with.
A clap on the left shoulder meant 'do not move, I'm slipping illegal stuff in your pockets'.---I could not stop laughing from that line.
OMG I love you for making Rose normal! Not the studious, goody-two shoes, replica of Hermione. Just the other day I was wondering if I read anything with Rose just being just like Ron. And alas, you made it better! She reminds me of Fred and George and I love it.
So I got curious as to how old Hagrid is here...he would be around 90 so I cannot imagine Hagrid all white haired and wrinkly. Hahaha.
I was surprised as all when you sorted him into Ravenclaw! I really thought you were going to make him a Slytherin, to be honest but I'm excited he went to another house. Its unique that you went that way considering that he's either sorted into Gryffindor or Slytherin, haha.
And wow! Olivander is STILL having children.
Anyway! I really enjoyed reading this! The detail is fantastic. You managed to set the mood amazingly well and I was able to picture everything in my head without any issues. You have a bit of spacing issues towards the end, but its no biggie at all. And as far as I could tell, you had absolutely no grammar nor punctuation problems.
I actually want to know what happens next so I'm adding this to my favorites! :)
Thanks for the swap!
Author's Response: Hi and there's no problem with the time of your review; I am a specialist of getting swept away by real life!!
First, I think you just left me the best comment ever. I was so afraid that people would think that my chapters were too long because, like you, I usually see some 1.5K chapters long and I ask myself the same thing. This story however, just wants to have long chapters, no matter how much I try, I can never find the right place to cut the chapter before I reach about 5k... You've just reassured me that there will be some people reading it none the less.
Ah yes, Rose being just like her mother is one thing that annoys me as well (and then Hugo being just like Ron, of course) so I tried to mix things up a bit. Rose is definitly a bit more like the twins were back in the days!
You made me realise that I did not describe Hagrid in that part and, yes, I imagine him just like that! With salt and pepper colored hair and wrinkles around his eyes! I'm not sure how old giants live to be so, I would need to check that out...
I decided to send Hugo to Ravenclaw because I rarely see any stories where the main character is there. Plus, it allowed me to explore something that will be the main theme of this story : what intelligence really means. There are all sorts of intelligence and being a Ravenclaw doesn't mean simply being gifted at the academic level, it has to mean more, there has to be some students that show different types of intelligence. At least, that's my opinion!
Olivander is NOT still having children!! Jade is his great-grand-daughter actually. I didn't explain it clearly (thanks for making me realise it!) but in my mind, the book Olivander has now left his shop in the hands of his grandson, Jade's father.
I will check the spacing issue when the queue re-opens and I thank you once again for this lovely review, it really made my day!