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Review:Ravenclaw Secret Santa says:
This was a fun chapter. I'm still enjoying the interactions between the boys. That's saying something, because normally the Marauders drive me nuts. Maybe it's because I want to groan whenever the Lily and "siriusly" jokes start flying too thick, or every time there is an extensive and highly immature prank-planning session. It was nice and in-character to include a prank, but I'm glad we just got to hear about it after the fact, with only a few sentences devoted to it, rather than having a whole chapter of toilet-related humor.

I'm impressed with the way you are portraying the Marauders. They are each emerging with separate personalities, which is good. There is also a mixture of fun and good-naturedness (primarily when they are having a good time together), but you are not shying away from the more unpleasant sides of their personalities (emerging when teasing Severus Snape). Again, I'm glad there wasn't a huge "let's make fun of Snivellus" scene, but just a brief (but effective) one to get the point across.

Likewise, I am also enjoying how Beth is fitting into the group, although she does seem quieter than the others. Maybe that is just her personality, or maybe it's because she finds it difficult to joke around the same way the boys do, or maybe it's because we are sharing her thoughts at times, whereas we are not with the boys, so it just seems like she is thinking more. I don't know. Either way, I think we are starting to see more of her personality emerge slowly, and obviously you have shared some more information about her home life and background.

My favorite parts of the chapter were the beginning when Beth was waiting with her mother at King's Cross and the end when they were all loading into the carriages at Hogsemeade.

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the Marauders! :) In the way that they're normally written on this site, they actually drive me nuts a lot of the time, too -- you've listed a lot of the really common Marauder stereotypes that I largely set out to eliminate in this story. I don't know where playboy-Sirius or desperate-James or nasty-Lily emerged from, but the fan fiction world would do well to be rid of them, in my opinion. There's a war on, after all; that's a thing a lot of people miss, in writing Marauders. But now I've gone on a rant!

I think it's very important to make each boy a character, you know? They're a group of friends, but they have separate identities within that group, and I think that's another thing that's often lost. People are made of equally good and bad qualities, and I try and write both sides to a character in everything I do. Their teasing Snape is important to the story, but it's not THE story, and I'm glad you saw that!

Beth is a bit quieter than the boys, and I think it's equally because she just is a bit more reserved and because we see things from inside her head. (I actually think she emerges a bit more as the plot progresses... but maybe that's just me.) It's a bit difficult to write an original character and NOT have to build up to who they really are, you know? Having to sell a brand-new addition to the Potterverse is sometimes a trial. :P

I like the part with Beth's mother, too -- and if you do continue on with the story, keep an eye on her. Beth's parents are important plot points! ;) Thank you very much for taking the time to leave me a review on this chapter! ♥


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