|Review:||Ravenclaw Secret Santa says:|
Ok, so I almost feel a bit silly reviewing this story since it has plenty of reviews already, and there are less appreciated stories on your page which you might prefer to received reviews for a gift. However, I remember seeing all the Dobby nominations it got, along with its sequel, so I figured I'd check it out even though I don't usually seek out Marauder stories.
I know you've written a lot since this story. One thing I sometimes complain about in reviews is when people have a boring description paragraph to introduce their characters--which you don't have! It almost feels like the first paragraph might have been that way once, though, and has since been edited. I'm not sure why I am mentioning that, other than that I'm just trying to make sure I leave longer reviews (and also, I have rambly tendencies).
I am glad you described how Beth came to be friends with the Marauders, because that was one thing I was wondering at the very beginning when I read about how close they were. In original stories, it's not such a bit deal, but slight AU elements like that sort of need to be explained in fanfiction. There are a couple of sections here and there where it seemed like there was more telling/explaining than showing, but honestly, I think it sometimes can't be avoided.
Overall, I enjoyed the camaraderie the Marauders had with one another. You had them all included, joking with one another. Most importantly, they weren't doing a bunch of stupid stuff. They were just acting pretty normal (for teenage boys). I thought you put Beth into the group pretty well also. She was an observer at times, so that the reader could get into her thoughts and information, but she was clearly in the group too.
This story is off to an interesting beginning.
Author's Response: Hello, Santa! :) And thank you very much for coming by and reviewing! I know that this story had a good amount of reviews on this story by the time you dropped by, but you got it to 500, and that's invaluable in itself! And besides that, this story and the other two that go with it are kind of my baby. ;)
I actually haven't rewritten anything in this story since its posting, save for small typos and things that, well, need to be fixed and shouldn't have been there in the first place. Everything's exactly as I wrote it a year and a half ago, so I suppose it's a good thing to hear that you think it might have been rewritten? Haha!
I never knew how cliche it was to have a fifth, female Marauder until I started writing this story, but it's good to hear that you don't find Beth cliche. I'd love to know where you think the telling/showing comes in! I know that sometimes it's hard to avoid, like you said -- and sometimes I think it's also a thing that people make out as being worse than it is, kind of like Mary Sue characters. But I digress. :P
Marauder joking is one of my favorite things to write! I always look out for an excuse to write it now, too -- it's loads of fun. I recommend it. ;) And it's great to hear Beth fit in well with them, too! That's always a common worry, I think, with original characters, but integrating her into the story was a large concern of mine.
Thank you so much for this review, again! ♥ What a lovely Christmas present -- and I'm sorry for how long it's taken me to respond to your reviews. I'll be getting around to the rest of them tomorrow! :3 It means a lot to me!!