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Review:angel_speaks says:
Hiya angel_speaks here to fulfill a request from the forums.

First off, I think that you did a really good job with the characters. I can't wait to see how the plot unfolds itself. The description as well was pretty well written. I think what caught my eye were the grammatical errors here and there. The tenses seem to be consistent throughout but there were a few slips here and there. Maybe one more look over the document can help or maybe even getting a beta could help with spotting those. Other than that, everything seems to be good. I could comment more on the flow and plot and character development as the story goes on :)

Hope this helped a bit :)

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

I'm glad that you think that my description was well written; and I will have another look through to see if I can spot those tenses.

It's good that you think everything seems to be good! XD

Thank you, it did help but a couple of examples would have been useful. ;)

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