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Review:CambAngst says:
Ho, ho, ho! This is your Holiday Review Swap Extravaganza Thingee review!

You have a very interesting lead-in to your story. Since the options you've selected (Era, Characters, Ships) tell us essentially nothing about what to expect, we're left to try to piece it all together based on what we read. It's quite a bit different from coming into a story knowing, at least, who the players are and how the surrounding back story reads. I enjoyed the process of reading very carefully and trying to put the pieces together.

Persephone and Arnold seem to exist in bygone times. The simple fact that they travel by horse and carriage is a pretty strong indication. His sexist attitude toward her -- as well as the men in the Leaky Cauldron -- also suggests a different era. It appears that he has been grooming her for some sort of secret society, and not in the nicest or most constructive of ways. She makes it clear that she isn't joining purely because she wants to. She believes that it will keep her family safe. From what, we can only guess at this point.

Your writing was really elegant. The tone and the formality of your word choice and phrasing seemed to fit the time period well. Everything flowed smoothly and there were no typos or grammatical errors that I could see. The descriptions were crisp and vivid and it was easy to picture the events in my mind.

Well, since this was a relatively short introductory chapter, I don't think there's any point in stopping here. Let's see what chapter 2 has in store...

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful analysis of my story!!

As for the selection options... I suppose I've chosen to set this story in an odd time period, but I can tell you that if I ever get a chance to sit down and write the next few chapters, it'll have at least one or two canon characters. I'm still getting to that, though, and life gets in the way so much. :P

Thank you for saying my writing is elegant. Sometimes it feels rather clunky, and your kind words make it seem a lot better than it is. :)

~UnluckyStar57


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