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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi darling! I thought I'd come by for a bit of next gen ♥

It's obvious you're being mindful to stay away from cliche's. Giving Rose a best friend that isn't a cousin, and so far not actually mentioning her family members at all, as well as giving her a different kind of dramatic personality as opposed to the 'fiery' one, definitely created something new!

Carmen confused me a bit. I'm still trying to figure out how a person can both be optimistic while still be such a believer in doomsday, always thinking the worst case scenario. Obviously optimists are people that always look for the good in the situation, so Carmen seeing destruction at every turn did get me a bit confused. I supposed she's being optimistic about seeing destruction at every turn? The only reason I address that is because it looks like she'll be our main character, so I want t make sure I have strong hold on her.

I also loved how much we learned about Rose and Carmen's friendship! It was nice to see how they worked together, but I do hope that you show a bit of it two instead of just explaining :). But I understand you wanting to get us a clear set up to go on so we aren't left wondering what about Carmen and Rose draw them together. Especially since it ends in such a cliffie, it's nice to not have too many things to figure out at one.

This was a very interesting first chapter! Your word choice is a bit off sometimes, though. What struck me the most is Carmen taking a melancholy bite from her toast. It's hard to picture someone taking a sad or pensive bite of their toast. I mean she could have a melancholy thought while biting her toast, but using that to describe her bite just sort of made me imagine her looking at the toast saying, 'to bite or not to bite, that is the question,' ;)

I like the level of detail you've included so far! It's enough to paint us a picture, but not too much that we're swimming through it.

All in all this was a really amusing first chapter!

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