|Review:||Secret Santa says:|
Well, hello there! :D Merry Christmas to one and to all! And happy holidays and all of the rest of it, as well! I hope you have a lovely few weeks on holiday, with presents and snow and reindeer (both chocolate and real) and everything.
Okay, first things first, I. Love. This. It's just so... sad and yet hopeful and I can't help but pity the poor kids who are in the hospital with, seemingly no hope, but then they do have hope - because Poppy's the girl with the bruises and somehow she survives and she gets better and that makes me hope for them that something will change and somehow they'll all be all right.
You're making me emotional. It's weird, I'm not usually emotional. Ever.
Anyway, I love how you've used Poppy Pomfrey for this and, by the sound of it, Andromeda Tonks as well. Minor characters, both of them, and yet they're actually both really important in the long run. I mean, if Poppy hadn't healed Harry the thousands of times he was in the Hospital Wing, he would never have survived to face Voldy at the end, no? And the series would have ended very differently... so yeah, minor but important. Gah, you've done such a great job with them as well - they're both so wonderfully developed, even though this first chapter gives more questions than answers ;) (It's a good thing!) I kinda love them both already.
I'm so excited by... well, pretty much everything about this. The location, the characters, the whole idea behind it, the actual sciencey-medical stuff in it, only with a more Harry Potter-ish slant. It's all great, and it really seems like you've done quite a bit of research into the diseases these kids have, what's effecting them and all the rest of it, which just makes it breathe.
I did notice a couple of odd flow-disrupty-type things, which I thought I should point out: where you put 'no matter how good of a healer you are', it should be 'no matter how good a healer you are' (no 'of'); blind-fold is all one word: blindfold; and there's one bit where I'm not sure if it works. You said 'you cannot outdo science'. Is it really science, though? I mean, personally I wouldn't consider death is science and that's what I thought you were talking about (feel free to ignore me if I'm wrong and have just been an idiot and misunderstood). I get that you might not want to use 'death' again, but maybe something more like 'natural selection' or 'time' or something would work better. Science doesn't really seem to fit, to me...
That was it, though! There was nothing else I could find at all wrong with this - even in the slightest, even if I was being utterly and completely picky.
Great, great chapter. Once Christmas is over, I'll be back to read the subsequent chapters as well ;)
Clue: er... kittens are cute. Very cute ;)