Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:LovlyRita says:
What a very powerful piece of writing you have here.
I think my favorite part of this whole story is your word choice and the way you've described things. Pardon me for this review being all over the place because I kind of am at a loss for words.

My favorite line was the one about how Fred's voice is lost, how it was congealing, etc. Because the thing about it is, a lot of description or imagery is beautiful but abstract, lots of similes and metaphors. But that line is so beautifully written and hauntingly true. Just another brutal way to remind George that Fred is dead.

Another thing that I really like here is the way George has almost claimed ownership over Fred's body, and he should be the only person to touch him or be close to him, because he was his twin, his other half. I thought that was very well done.

And then, the whole thing with Lee Jordan and mistaking him for Fred, and George feeling as though he could just live as Fred. That was a very powerful scene and really evoked quite a bit of emotion. Especially the way he discusses walking in Fred's legs and carrying on as him.

More than anything though it just seems like this whole chapter is hazy, or dusty, so it's aptly named. It is as though George has no connection to reality or the gravity of the situation, so consumed over the loss of his twin. I really enjoyed this look into his mind immediately following the aftermath of his death and look froward to reading on in your story :)

Author's Response: Hello there!

Aww thanks so much for your lovely comments! I'm glad you like parts of the description, because I can get pretty obsessive over word choice / diction, to make sure the prose doesn't get too clunky or the imagery too overwhelming.

The twins are my favourite characters along with Lee, but they are rather difficult to pin down, whether in their pranking moods or in heavier, darker situations like this. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and found it emotive and realistic; I have been trying to convey George's sense of shock, along with a slight loss of touch with reality. And I hope that's been successful :)

Thank you so very much once again for your wonderful review, and I certainly do hope you keep reading :D Happy hols!

-teh


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 390
Submit Report: