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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hello, Elphaba here again! Sorry I've been a bit slow ... as a bonus I've also read Chapter Four and will be leaving a review there, as well. :)

First of all ... a couple of nerdy details I thought I'd point out. Remus is hurrying to the shack because the sun is setting, but the sunset wouldn't have any impact on his transformation. The moon can actually rise while the sun is still up. The other is that you mention this is the first full moon of their sixth year. If this story follows the series canon, then the prank on Snape should take place sometime during their fifth year, because Snape's Worst Memory (and the end of his friendship with Lily) happens right after they take their OWLs.

The main critique I have with this chapter is that the description of Snape's "horrible stench" is a little over the top. I don't think that Snape would have been up to anything truly evil at that point, since he was still friends with Lily.

The things I really like about this chapter are Remus's reaction to Sirius, and his conversation with Lily at the end. I like that even though he's extremely angry with Sirius, he swallows his anger and just walks away rather than blowing up -- that seems like a very Remusy thing to do. :) It made me smile that he freaked out slightly when Lily hugs him at the end because he can't tell at first whether he's being attacked. :)

Your last sentence is very poignant considering what happens next ...

Author's Response: Meeeh! I've taken forever to answer this review!!

So sorry! :( I'm here though!

And ugh, is it really on their 5th year that this happens? Gah! Thanks for pointing this out for me! I would change it if it didn't change things up in the story...however, I'll keep that in mind when I do a re-writing of it.

The whole "horrible stench' was the differentiate between James and Snape otherwise it would've been a lot harder for Wolf to see who else was there. However, I'll take a look through it again and see what I can do.

Remus is a person that slowly starts to learn to control his anger and not blowing up on Lily was a sign of his maturity. He's slowly becoming the cool, calm and collected Remus that we know.

With every end of the chapter I try to end with something completely opposite of what I actually happens. To show Remus' optimism vs the horrible reality that they live as you already saw in the 4th chapter.

Kinda sad, really. :(

But alas, that's the thing when writing the Marauders...they all sort of depressing in the end.

Anyway! Thank you so much for taking the time to review this chapter! I appreciate it! :D

Until next time!


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