When I read the line about the tumbling red curls, my head thought -- 'no... Rose is trying to work on things with Krum... not Scorpius' then when I learned who he was actually meetings, I was pretty excited.
I think I had the time line messed up in my head in the last chapter... Lorcan is ten, Lily is 17, Scorpius is 18..so the twins are quite a bit younger than Lily. Okay. I had myself all messed up thinking Lily was just a year or two older than the twins.
Okay, now that I've sorted out my own silly-ness..
First of all, I love the small mention about the contrast the the manor and Scorpius's childhood home. Not only does it show us that either Astoria, Draco or both of them didn't need the kind of lifestyle the Malfoy's had lived, but it brings this sort of intimate feeling to their family.
And then the idea of an eleven year old Scorpius who already lost his mother.. bah :(. I just want to bundle him in hugs. You can't imagine that the Malfoy Manner would be the warmest place to go after such a terrible even, either. I mean, I'm sure he's loved a great deal by his grandparents, but it's not like they'd be able to start showing the love and affection they were never able to with their own son. Even if they did dote on him or anything along those lines, it couldn't have been a very comforting home. Bah. Poor guy :(
And now we're taking part in the spreading of Narcissa Malfoy's ashes. Before Lily's entrance and the questions she asked, I was thinking the same thing. Why are they spreading her ashes instead of a grand funeral being held with tons of witches and wizards that didn't like her, but remembered her. So, I am absolutely with those two in regards to their thoughts about something being up. But I obviously haven't read enough yet to know who / why something would be up. Leave it to you, open up even more mysteries with the massive 'WHY IS SEVERUS SNAPE HIDING OUT AND ALIVE' one. Tricky girl.
The narration in this chapter is much more formal than what I'm used to with Over The Edge, but that makes sense considering the person you're narrating. I think it fits the tone of this chapter very, very well.
I did have a part where I got a little bit confused. When he's talking about not being the most popular bunch in the neighborhood and no one beating down the doors for dinner invitations. Anyway, with the bit before that I got the impression that Lily thought Scorpius was being over dramatic, and then when she does that look where he can tell she thinks he's being insensitive. I can't figure out what exactly he's being insensitive about? Am I over thinking the world and she does just think he's being dramatic?
I'm so excited to learn more details behind what tore these two apart, and why whatever happened was bad enough to destroy their friendship. You are getting me very curious, m'dear!
This continues to be an extremely intriguing story, and absolutely not a bad temporary replacement so I don't cry every time I see over the edge at '14' ;). I'm really surprised with how many different angles you're taking on this next gen. I think I've said before that I don't mind cliches, but it's really entertaining to see Scorpius in a very different light than he typically is. And now, I'm really anxious to see how this all ties in with what happens three weeks down the road!
Author's Response: Lol, working on (or reading) more than one story at a time always gets to me too. What's worse is when I start accidentally incorporating the stories I'm reading into the ones I'm writing. A big no-no! And yep, you're all square on the timeline. I think it's more common to see the twins depicted around the same age as Lily and Rose and the rest of the gang, but I couldn't find that as being a canon fact, so I decided to make them younger. I sort of imagine Luna and Rolf starting their family a bit later in life.
I do put Scorpius through the ringer a bit in this story. He's not totally pathetic (I hope) but he has his moments. I can't see any child of Draco's coming out perfectly adjusted. Not damaged, just not great at connecting with people; kind of timid, lost in the vastness of the Manor.
You're right on this being more formal than OTE. Part of that was intentional for this chapter. The rest of the story is told from Lily's POV and is a bit more relaxed. But I also started writing this back in 2010, when I was trying harder to make my fanfics mimic the style of the original HP books -- at least as best as I could manage it. I think I've found my own voice a bit better since then.
I had to look over the part you mentioned, but I think I've got it now. She thinks he's being insensitive about his grandmother's death -- being too cold and detached -- and being cynical, thinking no one would show up to offer their condolences. He doesn't think it would matter if the whole world knew she was dead; they still wouldn't care. Lily thinks he's wrong. You're right though. I didn't write that bit as clear as I could have.
Thanks for reviewing another chapter of this. Your comments very fail to make me smile. And if it's of any interest to you... I wrote 2K words on chapter 15 yesterday. It's now at 3700 and should be done by the end of the week :)