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Review:Jchrissy says:
Okay, so you obviously know I already finished this, but I'm excited to back track and read it like a normal human being instead of speeding through with my eyes absolutely glued to my computer and the words getting all fuzzy and clicking next chapter at an insane pace.. umm.. anyway..

I'm going to review this as if I was reading it for the first time... or try to at least.

The first few chapters you leave us with a kind of unncertainty about Dom. She's obviously into herself, and a bit of a drama queen, but also not someone I'd hate. This chapter just took that a but father with her list of guys... until of course you reveal that she's actually studying them. But still, you get the idea that she wouldn't exactly be opposed to breaking them up.

But really, why can't this girl just chill out? Poor Dommy. And I think you are doing such an awesome job making Autumn realistic. Her standing up to Dom and telling her how ridiculous it would be to try and break up a relationship went a long way in terms of showing me that, despite letting herself get walked all over, she has a pretty intense moral compass. Yay Autumn!

One thing that really stick out, and has in the last three (ermm..19) chapters.. you keep the first person narrative very smooth and realistic, but don't deprive us of details. On top of that, you gave us a character with the personality to NOTICE details, so it's not odd if she notices something. I just really think it's a great combination so, by the end of the chapter, I feel like I was in Autumn's head but I also feel like I understand what's going on in the school, with her friends, what people look like.. I wasn't just in a big black thought box.

PS.. I don't know if it was actually fair of me to review this for the swap considering I've already read it... So if you get this review and kind of feel like this, 'hmmm' in a disapproving tone, feel free to PM and I'm happy to review something different. I just didn't want to start another story and risk never actually reviewing this one.

You are such a talented writer, I can't believe that on the second read through I was still as into this chapter as the first time.

Oh... and I have a friend who is rather tall, and being referred to as -oh that tall girl?- really sets her off. Pretty sure Autumn couldn't have loved that :P

And a second.. Oh! I love seeing the dorm mate through Autumn's prospective as well as pieces of Dom's. poor girl really won't have any friends if Autumn ever gets sick of her (again, pretending like I don't know what happens.. :P )



Author's Response: In regards to your PS, of course I don't mind at all! This is such a really really lovely review that I can't imagine any 'hmmm' at all (it's more like a fangirly 'ahidhoajfoad dbuhadioa i h!' sort of thing).

Dom is an interesting character. I didn't really want everyone in the world to hate her, because... well, I don't hate her and Autumn doesn't hate her, but she is a little difficult. So I found it really interesting having little bits and pieces of her slowly revealed and seeing how people reacted to her character (mixed reviews).

Dom defo needs to chill out. Poor dear.

And I'm just going to melt in your compliments about my narrative. Ilikeyou.

:D

-Helen


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