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Review:LovlyRita says:
Hello there!

Well I really enjoyed this little story! I am horrible when it comes to next gen characters, seriously. I rarely know who is who unless it's the core trio and their children. I know, it's awful. Yet from the beginning I just had the foreboding that this little girl belonged to George :)

I feel like she's got a bit of an attitude going into the castle, a kind of like...I am so over this, I already know what's going to happen here I might as well be in my third year. Which honestly, is probably what a lot of children think when they come from a very long family. I really like that they kept the secret of the sorting from her though, because it at least some air of mystery.

And the bit about the toffees, definitely George's girl there! But I feel so bad for the kid up in front of the whole school whose tongue is like protruding from his mouth! It's supposed to be a time that he remembers and enjoys, his sorting, but he has to deal with this prank! I just feel bad for him is all. But it something that George's offspring would definitely do!

I feel like toward the end of your story you kind of switched tenses from past to present, but then occasionally you slip back into past tense again, which is something you may want to look at.

Overall I really enjoyed this story, I think you did a great job with the description and the imagery, especially in the beginning as she was coming across in the boats in anticipation of her first year.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry it's taken me an obscenely long time to respond to this!

She does have a bit of an attitude and i can see that if I explored her more I think it would show a bit more that she doesn't know as much as she thinks she does. It would be a humbling experience. However, at this point, she thinks she knows it all. I agree that it comes from having her whole family come through Hogwarts already and being the last it may seem like old news, less exciting and more expected.

Haha, i know, i felt bad doing it to him and tried thinking of another way to add that part in but it just seemed to work there best. though he may not recover from the embarrassment.

I liked the beginning best as well, i think i lost some of the narrative style the more I wrote this. That came from me writing this in a few different sittings i think. Thank you though for all your lovely comments and pointing out the tense issue! Thanks!


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