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Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Hello, chica. I'm here with your review for the Holiday Review Swap.

I don't usually gravitate towards Dramiones, but this swap seemed like the perfect opportunity to branch out and discover new stories so I decided to give this a read... and I'm really glad I did. Even though it was a relatively short chapter, I thought you did a great job of jumping right into the story. I really like how you played on an existing scene from the book, bending it slightly to work with your plot. It helps the piece feel like it fits in right with the HP universe.

My favorite line by far in the chapter was "I stared at them, wishing it was me in Lavender's place but also disgusted that they would act this way." I thought this was just prefect. It works on so many levels. Anyone who's ever had a crush on someone who already had a boyfriend or girlfriend can totally relate to that, but also it's very Hermione. I can totally imagine her (especially as a prefect) thinking students snogging up and down the corridors is not at all appropriate behavior.

I also liked that you had Draco lurking in the corner. It's a little creepy, a little mysterious, and a great little cliffhanger at the end to keep the reader wanting to jump right to the next chapter.

One bit of CC I'd offer is that you were missing a few commas in some of your longer sentences. It's not a big deal; I just noticed them because the rest of the chapter reads quite smoothly.

Thanks for tagging me for the Review Swap. Happy Holidays :)

Author's Response: A Wiz! I was so excited seeing a review from you on this story, and I'm so excited to have you as my new beta now! Your words just have me so happy right now. My goal with this story is to keep it pretty close to canon while adding in the dramione bits to it and still making it my own story without just being a retelling of the books! So I'm really glad that you felt that it could fit in right with the HP universe. Thank you so much for your awesome review! I'll try to have a look at those longer sentences and get them fixed! I'm very glad you liked the ending with Draco in the corner, it was meant to hopefully draw people in to the next chapter! Thanks again for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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