Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi darling! Here for the Holiday swap!

I love where you started this. If I'm not mistaken, it's a variation of the after quidditch match in book 6, right? I really like that for two reasons: 1) Ron is hurting Hermione without actually meaning to. He's not cheating on her with Lavender, he's not doing anything wrong, but it's still really hurting her. The perfect kind of weakness that she may get involved with someone knew. We know she isn't beyond dating to try and kind of ebb away that hurt, as she demonstrates with Viktor, so starting it all at this point in time just really works for me and feels like a smooth/clean idea.

I think you did a really awesome job describing the pain that Hermione was dealing with. From her not wanting anyone to see her cry, to just needing to find a place to be alone, really fit with her character.

The idea of Draco being in there watching the whole thing! Ahh. Not only did he see what happened, but he also saw how it affected Hermione from the start. Poor thing, I want to hug her :(

This is a very interesting first chapter. It's obviously short, but it gives the reader a really clear idea of your writing style as well as a good handle on where we go. So despite it's length, I still found it a very good way to start out!

Happy Holidays ♥

Jami

Author's Response: Yes it is a variation of what happened after the quidditch match in book 6. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first chapter even though it was short! And you think that my characterization and placement was good so that makes me happy as well! I've always been one who couldn't really see ron as the cheating type though my newest story is playing with that! But I wanted to make this story where ron really didn't do anything wrong and that they are still friends. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 481
Submit Report: