Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Elenia says:
Hi, I'm here to return the Holiday review ^^

Oh Percy, he's such a misunderstood character in the books. He deserves a lot more attention and credit that he's been receiving (:

I did like your version of Percy, even though it's a bit different than the way I see him. But I think it worked. I could see recognizable characteristics in him and he seems to be an interesting protagonist. And Audrey! She was a lot closer to the way I picture her! Refreshing, that was the way Percy saw her, and I think that was exactly the reason he fell for her.

Your writing is very good and your descriptions were great! Everything flowed really well and the chapter held its interesting the whole time! That's always very important with first chapters, so I think you did a really good job (:

I would've liked to see Percy at least hesitating a bit before opening up to Audrey. I felt that happened a bit too easily. Maybe add a few lines about why he thought it was so easy to talk to her?

This might just be a personal preference, but I'd add fix the spacing. I just think it reads better if there's an empty line between the dialoque too (:

Anyways, this is a really good start! Hopefully you'll continue it soon (:

Take care!

~E

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for reviewing! I totally agree with you, he definitely deserves a lot more attention, and he is such a troubled soul. I'm glad that you think that it worked, and yes, that's exactly why he fell for her!

Thank you! I'm glad that it flows well, that was the one main concern that I had, as with every first chapter, you've got to nail it :)

I did actually think about that before putting it in the queue, but I never did anything to change it. I guess after your advice, i'll finally get round to doing it!

Sure thing! I'll fix that too asap. Thank you!
All these holiday review swaps have put me in the writing mood, so don't fear, a new chapter is on its way ;)

Thank you for such a sweet review!
- Abhi

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net