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Review:Roots in Water says:
Hello! Just to let you know, I probably would have chosen this story even if you had had another one posted because I liked the one's summary a lot, especially the part in italics.

And the beginning of your story definitely lived up to your summary. Wow- just wow. I think that you did an absolutely fabulous job of writing George's feelings immediately after Fred died. The detached manner, the hazy and distant feelings... It worked perfectly to bring his grief alive.

The first section was heart-breaking. It was very interesting to see George deny seeing Fred die in a way that made it seem as though he had been standing right beside him the moment it happened. Its last line was very powerful too, because it speaks of impossibilities and regrets and what-ifs.

I had just one small critique about that section. With "slow-mo", I think that it would fit the flow of the story better if you wrote it out in full as "slow-motion". But that's just personal opinion, of course. :)

The second section was very interesting because I'd never before considered that George might imitate/try to become Fred. The comments in the brackets about his body features being Fred's were a wonderful touch but this- this was heartbreaking all over again because it was such a desparate attempt to convince himself that Fred was not dead. It also showed that Fred being alive was more important than him being alive- a sentiment that I'm sure that Fred shared. It shows just how deep their bond ran- and still runs.

As I mentioned before, I think that you did a fantastic job with your writing style in this chapter. It worked extremely well in the last section, because of course George would not care as much about the war after Fred's death. Of course he would be too detached from the world due to his shock and grief that he wouldn't pay much attention to the fight that determined the war. Of course, of course, of course... It all worked together wonderfully.

All in all, I think that you've done a beautiful job with your first chapter and I'm very eager to return for the second chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Hello Roots! Thanks so much for your review and all your lovely comments! Sorry it's taken me quite a few days to respond. I'm really glad you enjoyed reading my story...I think I did struggle a bit to write the Weasley twins. They're not the easiest characters! Hopefully I'll be able to go deeper into their heads and explore their characters a little bit more with future chapters. Sigh. Fred's death was not only one of the saddest moments in the series for me...but it was also pretty shocking. It just...happened out of nowhere. I have tried to convey this sense of shock in this chapter through George's POV. I'm glad you think I'm convincing :D

And yes, the "slow-mo" bit might have been a bit too colloquial, I suppose. I'll probably change it to see how it sounds!

Thanks so much once again for you fabulous review! And thanks for choosing to do the swap with me :) Happy holidays!

-teh


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