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Review:Mystique says:
Hey, sorry I'm a bit late with your promised review.

I really liked this story. I've never been that big fan of Tom Riddle stories as I often find them to be unbelievable and inaccurate. The fact that you researched and wrote about the canon characters birth dates, shows me that this story is really accurate.

I think Fee is characterized really well. She is behaving like a Black or someone of an old pureblood family might behave. I liked the reference to Kreacher and I felt that the way that Fee reprimanded him, was exactly the way that she would have behaved. Yet Fee isn't horrible, she's nice and she's an interesting character to read about as she is quite complex. And the bit about the locket from Tom, I thought was really interesting and I wanted to know more.

It was a bit unclear as what year this story is set in or if they are still at Hogwarts? I'm guessing that they have graduated. I found Walburga quite an interesting character, especially as she has a drinking problem - I'd always thought that it would be Orion with a drinking problem.

I thought that it was a bit odd that Orion would send Alphard to spy on Walburga and Fee. After all Walburga is Alphard's brother so it seems to me that he would probably suspect or know that she had a drinking problem.

As I was reading, it seemed to me like Orion was older than Alphard and often bossed him around. I think that it would be more likely if Alphard was the one who bossed Orion around as Alphard is older than Orion.

I found one thing that I think contrasted a bit with canon. It was when Fee was tying Alphard's tie. As they are the Black family, I find it rather unbelievalbe that they would wear ties. They would most likely frown upon and scorn Muggle clothing. I think that they would never dare wear Muggle clothing, but they wear robes. At Bill and Fleur's wedding everyone wore really fancy dress robes, so I would imagine that it would be the same at Black wedding, but probably even fancier.

That was the only that seemed out of place, though. I found no spelling or grammatical errors and the whole story flowed really nicely.

Charlie

Author's Response: Hi Charlie! No worries- better late than never, isn't it?

Thank you for all of your lovely comments! Yes, the research was to ensure canon-compliance, although I did switch a few things around. The locket from Tom may or may not be of significance. Only time will tell on that one. ;)

I did mention in the summary that it's the summer that they graduate from Hogwarts. I felt that it would be Walburga who had the drinking problem, as it would explain her unbalanced nature. It would also explain how in the books she is described as looking much older than she actually is.

It states in the chapter that Orion sent Alphard to spy on Walburga to discover Walburga's true thoughts about Orion (did she consider him a gentleman, a good prospective husband or not, etc) and not about her alcoholism. Indeed, there's also a mention that the alcohol problem is something that is growing, and not already established. ;)

I do mention in the summary that while Orion is canonically younger than Walburga and Alphard, I can't imagine a pure-blood wizard from a "practically royal" family and so I altered his age so that he was born in 1919 and not 1929. This makes him older than Alphard, at least in this story. :)

I've never actually seen the DH movies, as I wanted to watch them together and not wait months for the second part, but I have seen the GoF movie and the torso part of the mens' dress robes are quite similar to Muggles'. I certainly noticed ties and bow ties being worn by wizards wearing dress robes. We also know ties exist in the wizarding world considering that they're a part of the Hogwarts school uniform. ;)

I really appreciate all of your comments though and I'm glad that you took the time to review! :)

-Katie

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