Umm is that Ingrid Michaelson? Because I love you. I mean that. I love that.
I am back for the holiday review swap to read one of your lovely stories!! I'm so glad you're participating, I've been reading Capers (probably without reviewing, because I am a bad HPFF-person) and wanted to catch up on some of your others. So here we go!
Warning: I am going to try not to fangirl but I find it really difficult with your stories.
I absolutely love that your fics are driven by the characters' desire to make a profit somehow, whether it's pride, winning an argument, buying out somebody's invention, or coming up with a scheme to make money by researching flirtation tactics. Brilliant! I'm already hooked.
I love that you've got a Next-Gen trio going on here, and that they each exhibit some of the characteristics of Ron/Hermione/Harry, but they also form their own, unique and entirely realistic friendship. "Fred thought that was bollocks, but Fred thought everything was bollocks at first." I really admire how you can describe pretty in-depth character traits within the span of one sentence.
Ahh! I spot a mentioning of Bea! :)
Isn't it Beauxbatons, with an S? I see one or two places where you've forgotten it. Also, I think in canon Durmstrang and Beauxbatons are co-ed, I'm curious to see if you'll be following that or making them a girls' and boys' school, respectively.
I see that you've created another intelligent, wry, opinionated, deadpan, Ravenclaw-esque OC who's just one of the boys. Although these pop up often in your stories I feel like you give them each a different spin, and they're so fun to read. I'm excited to get a better feel for Ellian.
One critique: I feel like James suddenly admitting his attraction to Ellian is a bit too sudden. Not in terms of it being in the first chapter, but we hardly get a glimpse of her in this story, and he seem to view her the same way he views Fred until he sees her flirting. And I know it's that kind of moment that causes you to re-think things, ie. Harry, Ginny and Dean Thomas. We know it's a James/OC from the summary, the Ci and the banner. But I wish that we were given something a little earlier on; even if he mentioned her "bright smile" a few paragraphs ahead.
Hahaha. Your hips. "Your...hair." And I love James's rule about not using any words other than color to describe a girl's eyes. I see now the difference between Ellian and your other OCs; she's not so tomboyish and not afraid to be flirtatious. I love her already!
I also love how upset James is that he's losing to Fred, who wasn't even trying that hard anyway. He must get that, erm, competitive spirit from his mum ;)
Ohhh my gosh. Stop writing such amazing stories, I'm never going to stop reading them and leave this computer! Of course, as always, adding to my favorites. :)
Author's Response: IT IS. She makes the perfect Ellian, I can't imagine her in any other way, even though it was so hard to find good pictures.
Wah! Just knowing you've been reading more is exciting ^__^
Bahaha, the whole profit thing is so derived from me. Because I am such a James. I have terrible ideas that I drag everyone into and I'm always finding ways to make a profit, and I would be pretty darned good at it if I actually stuck to something, but I have the attention span of, well, James.
The pacing is a little bit odd in this fic, as most of the information about Ellian and James' relationship occurs in the second chapter, but I've never been quite happy with the suddenness of James' feelings, so your note reminded me to go back and add something - and so I have! :D thanks! And I totally didn't know it was Beauxbaton*s*. Oh dear, I think I have to check everywhere :P
I think I'm pretty doomed to write about girls who hang around boys, because I'm largely more comfortable with guys than girls, and being in comp sci, I hang around primarily guys day to day xD There's a lot I quite like about Ellian even though I don't get to explain a lot in this, since I intended to write a longer fic about them. Number one is how she reacts to feelings. She is so terrible at it, and it's not in an *aww* way, either; she gets this oH MY GOD GET IT AWAY FROM ME sort of fear in her eyes. It's the tops!
James is vastly offended if he loses anything. Unless the winning is whoever loses first.
♥ thank you so much! :3