Hi! I picked up the story here since I'd read 9 and 10 during the beta process and I wanted to see what happened next :) And damn girl! That's some sexy writing there. And you did it in two paragraphs! People should take note: how to write sexy without writing graphic.
You have a really vivid style of description, which I love and greatly envy. I can picture every scene like it's a movie playing in my head. I'm kind of surprised Krum is in such good shape considering he seems to have been nursing a long-term drinking habit, but I suppose the history of a professional athlete is going to factor in there. And maybe I need to read the early stuff so I can see if it's as long-term as I'm thinking. But anyway.
And thank you for treating the subject of sex in a relationship as an adult. Such a relief to read ;) It *does* change things. That so often gets ignored in stories in the queue, you know? Ah grown-up experience *high-five*
I noticed a typo here:
I bet Krum's not being quiet as – shall we say helpful
Should be quite rather than quiet. And here:
at least they way Viktor tells it
Should be the rather than they.
And I got so fascinated by Liddy that I forgot to pick up real comments on the story. The scene at her house was totally entrancing, seriously. Also, I want to live in her house. Your line about her only falling in love with men with deep pockets, I kind of giggled. My best friend says she only, ahem, how can I rephrase this, she only feels attraction to men with money. I'll have to tell you in a non-12+ place some of her phrasing on it ;) But anyway, if you've ever seen Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn Monroe's character asserts that it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is with a poor man.
Oooh and the last paragraphs, sexy again. Oof. I feel like I need to fan myself. All right, so I loved it, lots of interesting developments for the characters, and now I'm dying to read the next one.
And as an aside, I'm picturing how psycho Ron is going to be when he finds out his daughter slept with Viktor Krum XD I probably shouldn't laugh, but in my head his expression is priceless. I bet Hermione would roll her eyes at him while looking slightly smug. Heh.
Author's Response: Haha! Now there is something I never considered. Maybe I should put a note on my author's page: click here and see how to write sex scenes that don't make seasoned staffers want to gouge out their eyes with a fork!
Seriously though, thank you for this wonderful review. I can't believe there is anything about my writing that you find enviable, seeing as yours is so top-notch. And you're right. I may have indulged a *little* in terms of Krum's level of fitness, given the circumstances, though I did mention a few times in earlier chapters about him being a little more round in places thanks to years of neglect. And you're right too about the drinking, though at this point in the story, he's been sober for several years. But hey, at least there were no six-packs or soulful orbs anywhere in sight :D
Thanks for pointing out the typos. See what happens when I post chapters without a Beta?
If it doesn't sound too conceited, I'll admit I'm am rather happy with how the Liddy scene turned out. I really enjoy writing characters that aren't bad people, just flawed. And you'll have to PM me your friends phrasing some time. I've known more than a few girls in my day who only ever seem to fall for men with cash.
LOL, yes, I'll admit to the fact that the idea of Ron finding out his only daughter is sleeping with Krum may or may not have been a driving factor in casting Rose in this part. The moment itself takes place if chapter 13 if you ever fancy taking a look.
Thanks again for the review :D