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Review:slytherinchica08 says:
I think that this first chapter does a great job of setting up your story! I love the idea that James is in the hospital and really just sees his life as being over since he can no longer play Quidditch. One thing I would suggest though is to add in some more description. The dialogue is done well but without much description I can't really picture anything that is going on. What does his room look like, what does the healer look like (besides her honey colored eyes), maybe dive into his thoughts. is he brooding about not being able to play quidditch is he just completely lost at the moment. Adding in these small things can really help the reader get a better picture of your story. I think that this is a good chapter and it does what it needs too, catches the readers interest and introduces your main characters, I would just like to see more description to really bring it to life. The flow was really great though along with characterization I thought! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you :)

Right now, I'm kind of focusing on getting as many things as I can into the queue before the validators go on Christmas break :P But over Christmas, I will definitely go back and tweak a few things here and there, I have been told before to add in more descriptions, and I definitely will when I get the chance! Thank you for reading and reviewing :D

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