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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, I'm here for the holiday swap! :)

This one-shot was a lot of fun - it's a great concept for a story, and I think you did a nice job with it. Ron's character can be very difficult to write, but you pulled it off nicely. I did feel like you exaggerated the strength of his reactions a little bit once or twice, but really, it doesn't take too much imagination to imagine Ron wanting to object just on impulse or blocking out what married people do until his sister gets pregnant!

What I also liked, though, was that he didn't object, and he stopped himself from freaking out when she told him that she was pregnant. Ron can sometimes turn into a bit of a caricature in fanfiction, I think, because it's hard to figure out when to have him react and when to moderate that a little to keep him realistic. You did a great job with that.

The only critique I have is that there were a few points where I felt like Ron's inner voice didn't quite fit him. The first line of the story in particular didn't sound much like Ron - would he really claim the "Bilius" part of his name? Along the same lines, I wasn't sure whether it made sense to include Dean's last name, since, Ginny aside, they always came off as pretty good friends, and "Voldy" definitely seemed out of place, considering how manic Ron was about using "You-Know-Who." There were a few little things like that that seemed off to me.

Other than that, though, this was a fun story, and I really enjoyed reading it. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I'm glad you thought I didn't go too overboard with Ron's character, as it annoys me too when I read some authors doing that. I completely see what you mean about all the little parts in Ron's inner voice. I included the Bilius just because Ron's older now and maybe he wanted to make himself sound more professional. Perhaps Hermione had a good effect on him? haha but Dean's surname and the Voldy part I completely agree with you on. I'll get right on fixing that.
Thanks for the awesome review!
~cb ")


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