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Review:CassiePotter says:
Hello! We're onto chapter number two! I loved that you wrote about what happened to Neville after the war ended! And you picked perfect lyrics to go with the chapter! I loved how well they fit together! The moment between Neville and his Gran was really sweet, as was the moment between him and Luna. You really captured the happiness of the end of the war, while keeping the sadness over the losses that everyone suffered.
There were some grammar notes that I noticed, so I thought I'd let you know if you want to go back and look at them.
"There was new faces turning up, presumably to find there loved ones who had came to fight." should be "there were new faces turning up, presumably to find their loved ones who had come to fight."
"tears has never went well with him." should be "tears had never went well with him"
"Neville could feel his face hotting up" should be "Neville could feel his face heating up"
And then at the end, you switch from third person point of view to first person point of view. You want to stick with one or the other so it's not confusing!
Other than that the chapter was really, really good! Even if it was a bit short, the pace was excellent, and it didn't feel rushed. Good work! 9/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hey there!
Yay, again I'm glad you think the lyrics fit, that is my main worry.
Thanks for pointing out the CC, I'll go back and edit it when I have the time!
Thanks for the review! ;)


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