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Review:LilyFire says:
This is cute. I can see so much potential behind it. I can understand the relaxed voice, it makes it read so quickly, but I think you tell just a little to much. Maybe some show, instead of tell. I don't have anything to specificly point out, but I feel like instead of letting us (the reader) figure these things out through things that happen, you just come out and say it. I also have a hard time believing McG just agreed to let two students go to Hogsmeade, no matter who they or their parents are.

Like I said, it's got potential and I'd actually like to see what happens later so I'll probably be back, it's just some food for thought...though it's probably worth mentioning I have never watched the show you've based this on.

I do think you have something good here, and so far I like the way you write Scorp, so we'll see, eh? :)

Author's Response: Okay, thanks for the advice! I'll see where I can add some more "showing" :)

I'm glad you're liking how its coming along, and Scorpius. Thanks for the review!


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