Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:manno_malfoy says:
Oh no, it ended so quickly! I kind of felt that you're wrapping the chapter up, but I kept hoping that you weren't. But, indeed, you were. This chapter was just so much fun and though there weren't any raging events, I could clearly see the set up for some. There was a lot of character structuring here, in my opinion, and that was fun to observe.

The first scene felt as though there was a camera lodged at the centre of the Great Hall, following the characters' gazes and zooming in on the important conversations going on. It was enjoyable to have a glance at what was going on through each of the characters' heads, and it was, thankfully, not confusing at all.

I loved how you started out with Peter and how you showed some subtle changes in attitude. Although he's always been the tiniest in the group, here we could see him make use of his friends' abilities and trying to gain some acclaim and appreciation. And Sirius is just so indignant! How is it all Severus's fault anyway?! I was so happy when Lily kind of took Severus's side. Even if her aim was just to be fair and all.

As for James and Severus this chapter... It was quite entertaining to see what each of them finds as the optimum method to impress Lily. We always wonder what made Lily fall for James, what has pushed Severus towards the dark side, and you're answering all of these questions exceptionally. It's an interesting aspect -how Severus decides he wants to become a Death Eater to impress Lily. Stupid, but quite intriguing. On the other hand, there's James who breaks the rules and has taken an insane risk just to keep an eye on Remus and support him. And it's disappointing to see that Severus, despite how well he knows Lily, would ever think that something like joining Voldemort would help him fall back into her good graces. And James who has never been as close to her had the ability to wow her into speechlessness by showing her how far he'd gone in order to help his friend. It was such a beautiful scene to seal the chapter with. :)

I think that the chapter was wonderful and it felt like a light read because I was so immersed. And I loved the diversity of characters here! I can't wait to see what'll happen next!

As always, well done!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi Manno, and thanks for coming by! I've missed getting your reviews, so I was excited to see that you had a spot open. Besides, this poor chapter was looking awfully dejected :D

I do think this chapter was primarily character-based. Don't worry, there's more action coming in the next few. I'm glad the lack of action didn't deter your enjoyment, though.

I was worried that my transition from the Gryffindor Table to the Slytherin Table might have been a little intense, so I'm happy to hear that it worked well for you. I'm always glad to hear that I've painted a picture well.

I have a lot of fun with Peter, because he tends to fall by the wayside in so many stories and I prefer to take advantage of his mysteriousness and lack of development. I wanted to show that he's got a dark side without blowing things way out of proportion. After all, he's still a Marauder at this point.

You've got an interesting analysis of Severus and James, and I think it's quite accurate. Severus tries too hard in his desperation, whereas James has learned that subtle gestures are the way to Lily's heart. We'll have to see where things go next in my crazy little love triangle :)

I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you!

Amanda


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 918
Submit Report: