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Review:Pretense Of Perfection says:
I've just started reading this, and the concept is quite intriguing. I like the fact that Scarlett is friends with a centaur, and that she studies with stars, both with and without him.

However, I often find the beginning of the chapters confusing, and dare I say..sort of out of place with the rest of the content? I'm sure they'll make sense later in the story, but the first two portions of this were rather confusing..it seems that perhaps it is Voldemort's perspective in the first section, and then in the second he is having some sort of telepathic conversation with Scarlett? It just sort of doesn't make sense to me at the moment.

I do rather like your writing style as well, but sometimes it gets a little tedious to read pages and pages of writing with no dialouge or internal thoughts to break it up.

That being said, you have a wonderful way with words, and can definately paint a clear picture in your reader's heads. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your feedback!! :)

Here is what I have to say on that. I AGREE. I started writing this in 2006 and finished it in 2012, and then decided to go back and edit. I found it VERY tedious at some points, a lot of reiteration and not a lot of interesting mechanics/wheels turning. Unfortunately, with the structure I put the story in, there wasn't a lot of leeway in some of these chapters. (Would you believe that I cut out a lot of stream-of-consciousness writing?!) Additionally, when I was younger I had this tendency to... want to add prologues onto each chapter? I was really big on word count. Some of it I think is kind of important (for example, I really do like one of them, where there is a contrast between Voldemort and Dumbledore) but in others, I find it really unnecessary and kind of stilted. I absolutely agree with what you have to say in that regard! I hope that you keep up reading-- I swear it gets much better from the first 10 and, honestly, some of the fixes I've done to chapters... 10-11-12 are really exorbitantly better than what they were beforehand to the point where I honestly enjoyed rewriting them. :) Thank you for your review and isn't it ironic that I am being wordy with my response?! But yes, thank you very much and it means a lot that you took time out to review me and be honest; as a writer I can only grow!! :)


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