Hi, Rachel! Sorry it's taken me so long to get here!
I'm so happy you request a second person narrative. When this style is done well (and of course with you it is) it's such an awesome treat to read.
I think you chose very well with the second person. It would have been too hectic in first moving back and forth, and wouldn't have pulled me in the same way. Similar with third, I would have felt too much like an outsider on these very private moments. I'm curious to read Coming Home now as well..
I absolutely love the sense of restlessness you have in this one shot. Nothing is how it should be for these two, and even though they realize that it doesn't make it any easier. Harry is put into mortal danger every hour of every day. Neither of them know, though of course they try not to think like this, if they'll ever actually see one another again. That was captured so well with this piece. Ginny's thoughts about wishing that Harry would have taken her, about feeling like he chose her specifically to leave behind, might have been my favorite part. It added so much depth to this character that I've always found flat, and it's just such a human emotion. Ginny is far too often portrayed as being this super human girl whose never upset, and when she is upset it's this awesome fiery temper... but just that hurt that we can gather through her thoughts about feeling like she was left behind absolutely makes this story for me.
Your stylistic choice to blend their stories closer and closer, move them into a more private moment in time. Even if they aren't any closer physically than they were at the start of this one shot, they feel so much closer because of the intimate emotions they aren't even aware that they're sharing.
I think you also did an awesome job using details small enough to capture their own personalities, but still keeping the voices similar enough to blend together. Harry understands Hermione and Ron's closeness, and isn't bitter for it. Ginny understands why Harry couldn't take her with him, but still isn't happy about it. Harry wants to comfort Ginny, and pretends he is while trying to comfort his own heart. Ginny needs to comfort herself, and hopes for Harry. Then the very end with the powerful mixture of them becoming so close that they are nearly thinking of one another at the exact same time.. Harry prays to see her again, and Ginny doesn't let the thought of not seeing him again cross her mind. Instead she reassures herself it will be all right. I think that last part absolutely tied it all perfectly together for me.
This was a really gorgeous one shot, my dear. Your style was completely gorgeous and flawless. Thank you so much for requesting it!
Author's Response: No apologies are necessary, Jami! ♥ Honestly, the fact you're willing to review at all is fantastic in and of itself. And you've said such lovely things, too!
I love writing in second person, and I'm really pleased that you thought it worked here. :) It's one of my favorites, actually, and I'm with you -- when it's done well, it's fabulous.
Many people have commented on the sense of restlessness, actually! And it's not something I've consciously put in there, but I'm actually really glad it got across to so many people. The idea to write a one-shot where Harry and Ginny are separated is one that's been in my head for years, and I wrote a Ron/Hermione story that was nearly identical to this stylistically; having had so much fun with that, I decided to bring those two things together into this little story. I'm not huge on Harry/Ginny in general (I've always found Ginny a bit flat, too) but here I enjoyed it!
I love your little analysis of the differences between Harry and Ginny's voices, too, as well as their similarities. Although, like I said, I don't really like Harry and Ginny so much as a couple, what I found in writing this story was that they have a pretty solid foundation for a relationship, despite my dislike of it. They're both practiced in patience, and in trusting one another, and I think it's important. (I speak out of conjecture, of course, as I'm well on the way to being a cat lady for the rest of my life.)
You're so sweet! ♥ Gah, I can't get over how nice you are about this entire thing! I'm so, so happy you enjoyed this -- and your compliments really mean so much to me. ♥ Thank YOU for reviewing!!