Tagging you from Review Tag!
So this was well outside of the norm for Next Gen romance fics on HPFF, so I commend you for thinking of something very original. You brought a lot of passion and emotion to these two characters. Each of them felt very real for being human and deeply flawed in their own way. It wasn't a "nice" story in the conventional sense, but it explored an aspect of human relationships that I think is much more common than people like to admit in polite company.
The flashback to their first night together was very nicely constructed. You made the differences between Dominique and Victoire very clear, and also gave us a really good idea of what Teddy finds irresistible about each of them. Victoire is his princess, his vision of perfection that he can never relinquish no matter how difficult she can be. Dom is the one that he really connects with, the one that understands him and enjoys the same things that he does. Victoire is is dream come true, but Dom is his reality. They fill two distinct roles in his life.
I loved the way that you wrote Dominique. She's so full of life and joy and energy. She gives of herself to a fault. But she also seems to live in a world of denial where Teddy is concerned. At some level, she knows how their relationship will end, how it must end. Instead of facing that truth, she chooses to ignore it and continue to pretend that the lie she's living can go on forever. She's beautiful and flawed, all at once. But in the end, she at least finds the moral fiber to insist on doing what's right, even if it took her quite a while to get to that point.
Teddy... well, I honestly don't like Teddy very much in this. I don't know whether that's the effect you were going for, but it's where I wound up. I found his speech to her at the end to be really selfish. He knows that he's breaking her heart, and he knows that she's the one who's actually doing the right thing. But he can't stop begging her to share herself with him, even if it's in a non-sexual way. I didn't feel a whole lot of concern for her feelings in his little speech. It was pretty shameless.
-- "You're too good Dom. I don't deserve you," he mumbled. - Amen to that.
I noticed on sentence that was rather oddly worded: "Three days later. On her birthday." Since he's talking about something that hasn't happened yet, wouldn't he say, "Three days from now."?
I think you took a really unusual but very human situation here and made something fairly special out of it. Nice job!
Author's Response: Hi! First off, thanks a ton for reading and leaving such a long and thoughtful review :)
I am flattered to know that you think this is original, that you found my characters very human (thank god) and that you liked how I explored the whole "cheating" aspect.
I am always unsure when I write flashbacks so it's a relief to know that you think it was nicely constructed. And, all the thoughts on the way Vic & Dom fill distinct roles in Teddy's life - I couldn't have put it better myself xD
Yeah, I always imagined Dom to be this free-spirited person, yet vulnerable in a way when it comes to Teddy. She's beautiful and flawed, indeed. Ultimately though, I did want her to do the right thing, after all she loves her sister too, so I am glad your thoughts and mine are aligned in the same direction :)
Teddy is not written to be a very likeable character here, definitely. I actually put in the "traits" of my ex-boyfriend in Teddy here, so that was definitely the effect I was going for, haha. And yes, he doesn't deserve Dom. He doesn't deserve Vic either. He's too selfish and confused.
Oh yeah, thanks for catching on that. I can get a little messed up in sentence structures, so I'll make sure to correct that.
I am so happy reading your review, especially that you think this was "fairly special". Thank you!