So, I used to think that I didn't like Severus, but the I realized it was Severus and Lily together I didn't like. I'm still not a die hard Severus fan, but I respect his character and love reading the stories of others who want to explore him.
See. Now you're in trouble. I don't like feeling bad for Severus. I like dwelling on what a bully he was, so then I don't feel bad for him. But you, you've given me this broken little boy that DOES deserve so much better, and now I feel extremely bad for him and that's what you're in trouble for!
The part about the broom, that did it for me. It was just so cruel of his father to do that. Not that I think he was anything other than a cruel man, because obviously that's just what he was.. but his little son only wanted to show him a new toy and bah :(.
I think you've found a perfect balance here with his mother. She loves him, that's obvious, but she's still weak. I'm going to try and get into this without actually getting into this...
Spousal abuse is terrible, and there are a million reasons why those poor women don't leave. It's not their fault, and it's important to understand that their mind isn't in an okay place. But at the same time, I just wish so much she was strong enough to leave her husband for the sake of her child's well being. She knows he doesn't deserve this, and even if she's always trying to protect him from the worst of it (until he gets older, that is) it doesn't change the fact that he's in an abusive household just as much as she is. Even worse because he doesn't understand why someone isn't protecting him. So even though I can't imagine the difficulty Snape's mother endured, and even though I know it isn't her fault that she wasn't able to leave, so much of me just wants to grab her shoulders and shake her... telling her that she's not being fair to her child. And bah. Poor Severus :(.
I LOVE the style you've written this in. The little pieces, the glimpses into what made him the man he became (both his coldness and his ability to be strong enough to play double agent for so long). And even more so, you've kind of explained a bit of his obsession with Lily without ever touching that. She was one of the first, if only, kind people that ever cared for him. So even if it was unrequited (sorry, trying to keep my Jily feelings from this, I really am!) it makes perfect sense on why he would love her with the intensity that he did.
This was so gorgeous and I was thrilled that I got a chance to read it. You are an amazing writer and have just attacked me with more feels this morning than I know what to do with!
Author's Response: Hi Jami!
I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to this. I've had a rough time lately, and things were busy for me too. And since this review is so wonderfully long, I felt I had to put in a lot of time on my response.
I completely agree with you there. I gained respect for Severus Snape later on in the series, and I was surprised that I was so adamant in defending him to others who believed he turned against Dumbledore. I know others are big fans of him, but like you, I don't consider myself a die-hard fan either. The Snily pairing never really moved me either, but I don't hate on it. I actually appreciate and pity love of the unrequited varieties.
Heee :) I tend to do that to people a lot. I always feel sorry for some of the antagonists in any story. I always feel there's a reason why someone turned out the way they turned out, and I like to explore it. I remember that scene in OoTP where Snape taught Harry his Occlumency and Harry encroached on one of his painful memories. His reaction afterwards revealed so much for me and somehow became the inspiration for this story. I'm glad you see him as a broken little boy, because that's what I wanted to show - and by extension, it's what I got from JKR's scene of Snape sitting in his room hearing those crashes.
I sat a long time thinking about what Tobias could possibly do to make his son hate him so much. The toy broomstick, I thought, was as simple as I could get. However, as another reviewer pointed out to me, it foreshadowed Snape's teenage years and his bad luck with flying. Sons always want to impress their fathers, and what a 5 year old Snape did was no exception.
Even with magic, some characters are often paralysed in stressful situations. While I wrote this, I wanted to empower her a little, but obviously that didn't work. When Snape ponders over his 11th birthday, I wanted him to tell her to use her wand. I wanted to make mention to the fact that she was still a witch, she still has some semblance of power. I don't know why, but I couldn'Ât form it into words. I agree, it isn't their fault and some people fail to realise that. It's so easy for someone to say that they'd never stand for it, but they've never been in that place, at all. It's hard for a child to grow up in that setting, but as he gets older, he realises he wasn't the only one. Perhaps his father was the product of a broken home as well. Everywhere in the Spinners' End I wrote about could not escape it. Maybe it was difficult for her to adjust as well. She grew up a Prince. She was a pureblood and now found what she thought was love, in the form of a man with a cruel past. It's not something I can imagine. In these situations, all you want to do is grip them by the shoulders and make them look at themselves.
Writing the story in this way gives the audience more than an extension of one of the scenes, even if they do seem a bit far away. I really didn't want to touch Lily in this at all. But the rift in their friendship then only did more to add another nail to the coffin, and impacted (maybe without him realising) his view on the world. Like his mother, Lily was also taken away from him. In some way, he may blame himself for the former as much as the latter. Even if no one protected him, he felt that he should have taken more care of her, hence his avoidance of her grave for all those years.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving me such a detailed review. I love reviews with feels :D