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Review:EverDiggory says:
I'm here! And I didn't take six years to get here! Disclaimer: Here's harsh and honest, but I refuse to be mean.

So the first thing I automatically noticed was the typos. I would absolutely recommend getting a beta to go over those things because it was a bit distracting!

For the emotions I really wish there would have been some kind of monlogue or something of the sort that really dissected Lily's feelings. Of course, we get it. She'ds frightened and angry and twelve million other things. But, I would have liked to see you further dissect it and explain it in depth and really knocked us down with all the emotion in it. I know you can do that and I want to see it.

I also would have liked a little more imagery. I didn't see that much of it and I would have liked to see a little bit more. It really adds to the story, and you really wouldn't need to terribly much for a piece like this.

Also, I think you should further dissect James's feelings as well. You did have him speaking to Harry about his future and whatnot, which was a lovely touch but I think you could have also talked about his feelings about Lily's. Does that make any sense?

What I really did like about this was the general plot. I adore a good James/Lily so I was pretty stoked about this!

I feel terrible. But it absolutely, posititvely no way am I saying this in a mean way. I loved this piece, I do, but there's always room for improvement.

I feel awful, just so you know.



Author's Response: Hey there :) Thank you so much for the review :) I really appreciate it :) And there's no need to feel mean, you were being honest, but not in a mean way! Don't worry! I will definitely run back over this story and add the stuff in that you recommended :) Thank you so much :D

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