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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Here from the forums Review Tag!!

So when I was browsing over your page to decide which of your one shots I wanted to read, this one immediately caught my eye. Then, when I looked more closely at it and realized that this was a task one entry... I very nearly decided against reading it -- there were so many stories about characters and dragons whether real or metaphorical, that I just wasn't certain that I could stomach another one. However, I did click it and I'm quite pleased with what I found. This was very different from what I had expected it to be, and I suppose, a lesson on why not to judge a book (or a fic, in this case :P ) by it's cover.

I thought you did a very good job with Narcissa's characterization -- no matter her political or social affiliations, it was always clear in canon that she was a devoted and loving mother. I also thought you did a good job of balancing her internal monologe with the action of the scene -- the part with the boggart was particularly well written and gave me the chills.

Perhaps it's just your style of writing (I know myself, that I sometimes have a way of sort of writing sentences in a backwards/round-about sort of a way), but I felt like the only thing in this fic that could perhaps be improved on was the sentence construction. Some of your sentences seemed to use too many words to get to the point causing the flow of the story to be disrupted. As I said earlier, this happens to me all the time! I've found that reading a chapter out loud helps me to find the places where the wording gets a bit awkward, so perhaps you might find that helpful!

All in all, this was a lovely little one shot that I wouldn't at all of had a hard time fitting into my concept of pre-Hogwarts Canon if it wasn't for your A/N at the end!! It was well written and very sweet to see a softer more feminine side of Narcissa.

Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I know what you mean, I have read a lot of Task one entries, and I couldn't stomach any more of them either, lol. That's why I tried to write something that was a little more different and hopefully original, and glad you liked it xD

I am happy to know that you liked my characterisation of Narcissa. I tried to maintain a balance between the action and the internal monologue really hard, especially because I have never written action before, so good to know it worked for you :)

Since I am not a native english speaker, I understand that my sentence construction can be a little off at times, I just don't know what to do about it. Thanks for the tip though, I'll try the next time I am writing :)

Thank you so much for reviewing this, once again. I am glad you enjoyed this!

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