I know I'm a newb to this site, seeing as you've never seen my s/n before, BUT, I've been reading fan fiction for a while, especially on this website, and especially Draco/Hermione pairings.
You. Are. Fantastic. Seriously, literally, figuratively, metaphorically. I have not enjoyed a story from a non-published author, EVER, like Iíve enjoyed yours. In fact, I highly suggest renaming the characters and submitting it to a publisher, because frankly, this is one bada** story, plot, EVERYTHING. I will do my best to write a review worthy of the story I have just finished reading. Here I go;
1) You had me laughing, crying, and getting pissed off during the entire duration of the story. Something I have never done with fan fiction.
2) Your ability to create such entangled plots is beautiful. I donít know how many years or practice you have under your belt, but the way you incorporate characters, let them fade out, then bring them into focus and the way you weave such an intricate plot is justÖamazing. Not only that you have what seems like a million other sub-stories going on at the same time of the main focus, Draco/Hermione. But itís not overwhelming, itís enough to keep the readers mind active and involved with the story and itís many inhabitants.
3) Youíre cliff hangers are a pain in my rear end. And the fact that you didnít do a preview after the end of Ch. 37. And then you tease us, like a skilled fisherman. ďJust stick around, I have some awesome chapters coming upĒ says the Fisherman to the fish. And yes, 37 was short. I want to stomp, scream, have a bit** fit, throw a huge temper tantrum and demand that you tell us what Pansy has planned, who is the baby momma of Dracoís child, and what the bloody frick is up with Lavendar/Davies/Val but them Iím reminded; thatís what an author does! They get the reader so involved that they just canít STAND to not know what is going on, they canít STAND to be left haning, they crave every word typed from the authorís finger tips, they lust after every update. Thatís what any author worth their salt does. Their writing is so alive, involving, and intricate that it just engulfs the readers and their lives and thoughts. And then I double realize that you have me hooked. You have engulfed me.
4) Off topic but before I forget, have you an editor? I noticed slight errors in your chapters, things like ďshow showĒ when it should have been ďshe showedĒ or ďhrĒ instead of ďheĒ. I know itís kind of trivial, considering itís just fan fiction, but if not, Iíd definitely invest in an editor. Iíll volunteer my time to do a quick scan of spelling/grammatical errors. *cough*wink*cough*
5) Yes, I think she made the right choice, but the choice should have been made AFTER she found out about Dracoís love child. After studying the character of Hermione in the books/movies, she would break up with Draco(again) after finding out he hid a child from her, BUT, and this is a huge but, the way you have molded the character in this particular story, if you made her ok with the fact that Draco has a child from a different woman, that would work as well. Itís too late because the chapter has already been published, but I think it would be wise and not so harsh on the reader to NOT have them break up after Hermione finds out about the child.
6) This ties in with 5 but I didnít want it to be so long. As I was typing that, and this is just a suggestion, I personally think it would be very important that when, and if, Hermione finds out about the child, that she be very understanding of it. After all, the past is the past right? That and, Pansy will fail, so when and if she does fail, it would be the figurative salt in the wound knowing that Hermione had come to terms with Draco having a child with a different woman(no matter who it is ).
7) You have my mind going WILD with the lines Pansy said to Davies. Azkaban? For their plot? Knowing what a wizard has to do to get in there, what have you made them do? Underage magic? How long has this plan been festering? I mean, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Pansy, and Lav canít be no more than 18 years old? You must have something really wild up your sleeve. I really canít wait to find out what!
8) Iím really fricking ecstatic that Ch. 38 is in the queue as of 11/24/12!
Author's Response: Oh wow, this review seriously brought me to tears! It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me about my writing, if not the sweetest. I'll try and make my response something you'll like to, because I love your sweet review. I've been doing this story for 2 years now and it still makes me happy that people enjoy it and leave me reviews like this, especially now that it's almost over.
I love my reviewers - all of them - whether they've been there since the first chapter was published or they just started now. Either way, they're going on this journey with me. If it wasn't for my readers, I wouldn't have a story.
I'm SO glad you enjoy the plot and my writing style so much! I would love to have this published as a real book! I've contemplated re-writing it as a book with different characters and taking out the references of Hogwarts and stuff, who knows maybe it'll be published someday! :) I've always wanted to write a book...
1) I'm glad I could pull so many emotions out of you, that means I've established connections to the characters, which makes me super happy. I'm telling their journey and I'm glad when my readers feel what they feel and get emotional. My favorite books always pull many emotions out of me so I want to do that for my readers.
2) The plot is very tangled, huh? Lol I've established a pretty twisted web of lies and secrets and plotlines but I try to keep things straight. I like stories that do that for readers. I hadn't read many fan fics with multiple plots and I hadn't read any with my exact plot, so I'm excited that it's a hit!
3)I love writing cliff hangers. I adore writing them, actually. They're so much fun and seeing the reactions of readers can be a priceless experience. I'm so for the shortness, and I'm afraid chapter 38 isn't very long either, but 38 and 39 does some setting up for the big stuff in the story I've been leading up to. Once chapter 40 gets here, all hell is going to start breaking loose, basically. Everything is going to come to blows. I have the rest of the story completely plotted chapter-by-chapter and 40 is where it starts getting exciting.:) There will be some more cliffies by the way...in fact 39 might have one(;
4) I do not have an editor. I did at one point for a little while, but that didn't get to work out. If you're interested in doing that just let me know. You can let me know on another review, or on my MTA page (there's a link on my page) and you can message me there. I don't check it much, but I get emails whenever I get a knew message, so I would know. (:
5) I can't say much about the Draco love child thing. That will come up though. Hermione will find out.
6)Again, I can't/won't spoil anything for you. Haha
7) That is my favorite plot, by far. Everything keeps getting more and more twisted for readers and it's quite interesting to me the theories everyone has. They are older than 18 though - the story was set 5 years after DH so they're about 22. Lol They're kind of immature for those ages, but hey? Lol I wasn't interested in writing teen pregnancy, I wanted them to be adults. :) I do have something pretty crazy up my sleeve and I do hope it doesn't disappoint. :D
8) Aw, yay! The wait time is 4 days so it probably won't be up for a little while. :/ But, I'm working on 39 to and am going to be writing a lot, I really want to get back to fast updates. (:
Thank you so much for all the supportive words, they really do mean a lot to me. I read all my reviews and do take opinions, thoughts, and ideas in to account. Thank you again and I hope to continue on this journey.