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Review:Pretense Of Perfection says:
“Wait, Em, Em, what did you say?” I cry, chasing after her. But she refuses to say anything until she has trapped myself, Lily, Evie and Em in a compartment and locked the door. There’s barely time for us to hug each other before her speech begins.

Did you mean to write Leah where you put Em the third time? Because otherwise, the sentence doesn't necessarily make sense..

Anyways, I must admit that after reading the past few chapters, and my incredibly long-winded review(sometimes I just love seeing myself type..or reading my own words...or whatever? You get the point I'm sure) that I was one hundred percent correct about your writing abilities. This chapter is everything I have been expecting from the quality of what I see you capable of. While I imagine teenage girls would have more to say about their summers, not to mention it's improbable a sixteen year old girl would lose her virginity and be able to wait to tell her friends, I think that we found out so much more about a few of the characters, mainly Andy...

I adore her bucket list. I see now how Stephen sort of ties into things(although I must reiterate my previous review, I think it could've been done in one long prologue chapter, or several more detailed chapters about Andy as a character, along with her friends and her relationship with Stephen) and I can't wait to see what else is on Andy's bucket list. I think this chapter would have been the perfect place to give us a glimpse inside of her life outside Hogwarts a bit more, although we do find out she has a younger sister. I could have missed it, but I'm not sure we as the readers know her blood status, which is certainly crucial during the war.

I really enjoyed getting to know Sirius through Andy's eyes as well. I like how she notices how different he looks and acts, as well as the rough edge to him that she noticed wasn't there previously. I personally contradict your point in thinking James would be oblivious to it, as he is closer to anyone else than Sirius, and the two live together. Remus and Peter I can see being in the dark..but from what we know from canon I'd say it's sort of unlikely. But hey, this is your story to tell, and I love seeing the different relationship dynamics people come up with to elaborate on things of which we can only guess.

I did notice a few spelling and grammar errors, but nothing too major, and definately worth overlooking to get to know Andy as a character a little better.

Lastly, I'd like to commend your general awesome use of brit-lingo. I'm hazarding a guess saying you are from the country? As an American it is one of the things I personally struggle with, and I'm green with envy :)

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