Hello, again! So here I am, at the final -- at least for the moment -- chapter. I've enjoyed the process of getting here immensely, but I feel a little bit sad. Now I have to wait for updates like the rest of the world. However will I manage? ;)
The start of the chapter was really funny. I mean, there's nothing funny about being sick, but Brienne's dialog was cracking me up. You made it pretty obvious how sick she was without having to go into a whole lot of the particulars. Madam Pomfrey lays a dose of the wizarding world's good, old standby on her: Pepperup Potion! Such a funny idea for a remedy. It doesn't actually make you better, it just clears your head and makes steam shoot out of your ears.
It was really sweet of George to chase her back to bed, even though we know how much the Quidditch match means to him and everyone else on the team. He's gradually growing a little more protective of her, which is a great thing for those of us who are wishing the two of them together!
"One of Brienne's favourite places was the fifth-year girls' bathroom in the Gryffindor dormitory." - Hmmmnnn... I'm honestly not quite sure what to make of that line, seeing as how it's a common bathroom shared by all of her classmates. I understand that she's poised for a good, long soak in the tub, but the description comes across a bit awkward. There may be something cultural going on here. In the States, at least, we would use the term "bathroom" to refer to the whole kit and kaboodle: sinks, toilets, showers, tubs, etc. If you're meaning for the term to only apply to the room with the tub in it, you might want to throw in a quick bit of descriptive clarification just to help us poor Yanks out. ;)
I liked the way that you associated her interest in her appearance with her gradual emotional recovery from the loss of her mother. It is the little things that start to make us feel human again after a tragedy.
Even though we don't get to see the Quidditch match first-hand in this chapter, I liked some of the little details you pulled in. Especially the part about Harry sending a his Patronus after the "Dementors" who were actually Malfoy and his cronies.
Everything from there on plays out in wonderful agreement with canon. I really love how you took the events of that night and used them to play right into Brienne's anxieties about the people who killed her mother. That was sublimely done. Another thing I really liked was the way that Angelina sort of clings to Fred for support. There is more than one love story going on here, it seems.
Poor Brienne. It's good and it's bad, I guess. Bad that she has these terrible feelings about what might happen to her. Bad that she's terrified for her life. But good that she's finally opening up to the people closest to her. Good that she will hopefully be able to lean on them for support and a feeling of security. I just hope that you're not planning to make her worst fears, you know, come true. :-/
And here I am, at the end of the story as it sits. I'm really looking forward to your next installment. The school year is beginning to run short, so I'm sure lots of things will be happening soon, and I can't wait to see where you take the story next! Well done!
Author's Response: Hi! I'm going to try my best to update as soon as I can!
Haha, it was funny because as I was writing Brienne having a cold I contracted one myself :p But that was good cause I could describe it properly. What I would have given for some Pepperup Potion xD
I like to think that George and Brienne are getting closer :) They're becoming more comfortable with their feelings, so hopefully they do something about it soon :)
About the bathroom thing xD We do the same as you, calling a "bathroom" the whole thing with sinks and toilets and everything, though it would make more sense if this room just had a tub, and there was a toilet elsewhere. I wouldn't know what to call it though xD
I didn't want to make her seem overdramatic, so I'm glad you don't think so :)
I scour the books every chapter to make sure it sticks to canon xD It's hard, but it reaps the rewards!
I think there are only a couple more chapters until this installment is over...but then again, this is only the beginning of the story. Thank you again! :)