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Review:house elf says:
What a cute story! Oh wow, your grammar is better than a lot of people who speak English as their first language so I wouldn't worry about that ;)

Ooh there is one thing - before closing speech, remember to put a comma before the speech marks (or a full stop if it's the end of the sentence) :)

But yeah, I really enjoyed it so well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words and notes :)

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