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Review:javct says:
javct45 here with your belated review.

Bet you never thought was coming did you? ha!

I enjoyed reading this. The plotline is god so far and I think you could do a good job at avoiding the annoying cliche's when it comes to the next gen.

You mentioned grammatical errors in your 'areas of concern' and I'm glad you did. There are quite a few grammatical errors throughout this story (too many for my to point out in a review). Might I suggest getting a beta? There are plenty of amazing beta's on the forums and they are so helpful and amazing people. It is always good to have someone to look over your story that isn't yourself because, as the author, you tend to miss the mistakes (everyone does it :P).

The time changes confuse me a little though. I mean, I see that you have told the reader 'five yes later' and 'flashback' but, especially at the end, I found it hard to read it because the flashbacks were so prominent and quick. Maybe you could add some more description or imagery? that always helps :)

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hahahahah nah I thought you would ;)
Hmmm getting a beta...! I'll consider it. Just been really busy with school but I'll definitely consider it when I'm free.
Ah the timeline. I'll try to tidy that part up. :P
Thank you so much for pointing out the errors..!!!


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