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Review:TenthWeasley says:
Hello -- popping by to do by bit of the TGS review exchange!

I've never read a medical-esque Harry Potter fan fiction before, but already I can tell that I think I'll enjoy this one. :) One of the bits I already admire about it is that in just this first chapter you've managed to give it a strong sense of realism, of actually being grounded in J.K. Rowling's magical world, and that's always something that's fantastic to see. You provide detail that a lot of people don't; some writers would have just mentioned that the children are terminal and moved on, but you took the opportunity to describe their diseases. It might seem like a small thing, but that's the sort of thing that sells stories, really.

Another thing I liked in the sense of style is the first section -- LOVE the second person point of view. ♥ And it really works in this story! Again, not every writer can pull that off, but you did it really well. I think it's pretty neat, too, that the narrator remains essentially nameless and faceless. That's a really good choice for this story, and it keeps it interesting.

Your descriptions are lovely! "Asparagus-green eyes" was, I think, one of my favorites, as well as -- oddly enough -- the description of Poppy Pomfrey's affliction as being blue and purple. (And now the chapter title makes a bit more sense! Fab!) I'm really curious to know how you tie in the Poppy Pomfrey we know with this one, too. It's only a theory, but I'm suspecting that the narrator's not too far off in his or her little stories about the magical thymus. ;)

I really enjoyed this -- very, very well done! I might just have to pop back over and read chapter 2, as well. Keep up the great work!

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