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Review:Serendipity1234 says:
Okay, I'm sorry, I really love the story and the characters and everything, but the way Natasha lost the snitch was just stupid.
I could understand Fiona distracting her during the game or something, but when you're grabbing something you had just been passionately chasing, you don't pause and look away before you grab it. That just doesn't happen.
Even having Natasha notice Fiona after she catches it and fall off her broom might make sense, but the way it happened just made no sense to me at all.
Also, why is Natasha so super self-conscious about every little word or look when she's been trained her whole life to endure people constantly judging her? She would be more than familiar with girls like Fiona and the attitude that come with them. Natasha just has no confidence at all lately, when I think she should have some.
And I kind of hate her for becoming MORE of a doormat in some respects.
Also a minor detail -when Dom and Natasha were talking in the locker rooms, Dom said they hadn't come close to winning in years. I thought Gryffindor had a winning streak while James was on the team..?
But, all that said, I really did enjoy the end of the chapter. I LOVED Natasha and James together ❤❤ they were so sweet and I love watching their relationship build :)
Somehow, though, I almost sort of like watching Molly and Gryffin better. I probably don't actually like them better, but it's really close. They're a fantastic subplot and Gryffin is an adorable idiot, climbing into Molly's lap like that :D I wish I could read more of their relationship and see one of their study sessions working on a project or something. I just love them. They're a great pair :)
Update soon!
(And I hope you don't take my criticism the wrong way, I really do like the story!)

Author's Response: Thank you!

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