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Review:Hippothestrowl says:
This story is full of excellent ideas that are interesting and had me coming back over and over to find out what happens. I enjoyed it. The grammar and syntax are good and the pace prevents it being boring. However, it has to be said that its style is too casual, it lacks depth of character, relationships, and location description. We rarely get inside anyone's head or feel their feelings to care very much. It reads like a really fascinating news report about a moon landing so has much interest but little art or finesse. Jason and eventually Harry were such perfect, all-powerful, Mary Sues that we know they would never do a thing wrong so we can't have any intense emotions, tension, fear, tears, or laughter. In fact all characters were so thinly expressed they were OOC. The interesting thing is that, despite all this, it is still worth a read - and a good one at that - but it can never be great unless a great author comes along and rewrites it. I wish this author had persisted to write more stories and so, perhaps, improve in his/her storytelling.

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